Lane Kiffin’s secret afterparty acoustic set

With zero (0) Ole Miss sports making it to or beyond Memorial Day Weekend, you probably saw the story of Lane Kiffin strapping on the axe and doing a little shredding at his daughter’s high school graduation party.

For the uninitiated, Kiffin got on stage with the band, which was an actual band hired to play and not his assistant coaches who learned like one Hendrix song, and gave the people what they wanted in the form of Guns N’ Roses and Poison songs.

While performing, Kiffin wore a Poison shirt that frontman Brett Michaels gave him because sure, why not. This is a reminder that Matt Corral was friends with Michaels’ daughter (maybe they even dated?), and that Corral once got in a fight with one of Wayne Gretzky’s pampered children because Matt Corral ain’t got no time for cross-checking, high-sticking sass.

That fight led to Corral transferring to another high school because the Gretzkys have fixer and influence wealth, and Corral eventually made his way to Ole Miss. The point of all that was Southern California high school drama is exactly like The O.C., one of the finest TV shows of our time

Anyway, after Kiffin laid down a few licks and finished his set, the story doesn’t mention anything about an afterparty. I bring this up because, if it was a real party, there’s always an afterparty.

Although not as aggressive as the main party, the afterparty shares the goal of trying to keep the good times going but shift the vibes in a toned down direction, with a more select crowd. Again, there is no evidence it took place, but if it did (IT DID), there is no doubt Kiffin was asked to bring out the ol’ acoustic six string and explore his catalog.

With that in mind, I present Lane Kiffin’s acoustic set at his daughter’s graduation party afterparty, if it happened (WHICH IT TOTALLY DID).

Guns N’ Roses - “Patience”

Classic move of sticking with what you know. Also, I would pay $10 (maybe more) to hear Lane Kiffin whistle the intro, preferably at a postgame press conference after things did not go well.

Bob Marley and The Wailers - “Redemption Song”

Dads who managed to get the afterparty invite are now wondering IS LANE KIFFIN A LIB?

Ben Harper - “Power of the Gospel”

The vibes are getting a little too mellow, coach. We need a pick-me up.

Indigo Girls - “Closer to Fine”

WE’RE BACK.

As an aside, the guy going nuts for the penny whistle at the 2:58 mark made my week. No one has ever been that excited to hear a penny whistle.

Jewel - “You Were Meant for Me”

Ignoring what a beautiful song that is, it feels like the set list is heading in a not great direction, given the occasion. Maybe the Jewel selection was because she sang on the Indigo Girls song. Let’s see what’s next.

Sheryl Crow - “Strong Enough”

(a brief break for a mini-intervention)

Now that he’s on the same page about this being a happy occasion, let’s reset the playlist direction.

Billy Bragg and Wilco - “California Stars”

A song seemingly about the call of a former home, but more about wanting a great relationship with a significant other. Either way, we just need to get to the standard end-of-high-school songs.

Townes Van Zandt - “Buckskin Stallion Blues”

NO, COACH. NO.

These kids still have a spark in their eyes. They are not ready for perfect songs of longing, loss, and regret accumulated over years of living. Give them the graduation basics.

Green Day - “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)”

Now that’s more like it. Probably THE end-of-high-school song.

But no good performer can end the night without giving the people the encore they demand.

ENCORE

Backstreet Boys - “I Want It That Way”

He’s either doing it a cappella like the scene above or how Ryan Adams once did it.

Taylor Swift - “Anti-Hero”

Obviously.

Willie Nelson - “Uncloudy Day”

Sending everyone home with a gospel song and tale of a home where no storm clouds rise. Hearing that set list in person would be worth like five Library football weekend cover charges.