clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

The Pete Golding defense 101

And by 101, we mean what if the Widespread Panic jokes were true.

NCAA Football: Texas A&M at Alabama Marvin Gentry-USA TODAY Sports

Outside of his coaching abilities, the most noticeable thing about new Ole Miss defensive coordinator coordinator Pete Golding is that he doesn’t have the central casting defensive coordinator look.

The hair defies the close-cut, number 2 or 3 guard that is seemingly required by defensive coordinator law, and the beard may strike other coordinators as step in the direction of anarchy. Throw in the visor, and it’s an overall look that says tiki bar investor or enthusiast, not a director of defense.

Because the internet is the internet, this look hasn’t gone unnoticed, inspiring a running joke that Golding is a huge Widespread Panic fan. I don’t know if he’s at the level of taking June off to follow them around because the 14-minute live songs are so much better than the shorter studio versions, but I would totally buy it.

Take a look at this image of our potential Spreadhead defensive coordinator from a few weeks ago:

Is he out recruiting or is he standing next to the guy he just bought two grilled cheese sandwiches from outside the gate of the Widespread show? Who’s to say?

If the joke is true, we can also assume Golding incorporates Widespread into his defensive calls and names for positions. For instance, Alabama calls versions of their Even 1 Cross coverage “GNR Dolphin Flip Weak” and “GFR Train,” and most famously calls the nickel defensive back who replaces a linebacker the “Star” position.

To bring this scenario I desperately want to be true to life, I’ve pulled some Widespread songs that, based on titles alone*, are most likely peppered throughout his defense.

*I know like 3-4 Widespread songs, and while I don’t dislike any of them, the overall life plan is to not intentionally increase that number.

What’s that you say? Why yes, it is the first week of February.

Blitz Packages

  • “The Take Out”
  • “Send Your Mind”
  • “Boom Boom Boom”
  • “Bear’s Gone Fishin’”
  • “Ribs and Whiskey”
  • “Ain’t Life Grand”

Checks to Base Calls

  • “Rebirtha”
  • “Papa’s Home”
  • “Casa del Grillo”
  • “Thought Sausage”

Goal Line Calls

  • “Gomero Blanco”
  • “Love Tractor”
  • “I’m Not Alone”
  • “Dirty Side Down”
  • “Honkey Red”

Defensive End Names

  • “One Arm Steve”
  • “Old Joe”

Defensive Tackle Names

  • “Rock”
  • “Papa Johnny Road”

Middle Linebacker Name

  • “Space Wrangler”

Outside Linebacker Names

  • “Radio Child”
  • “Blue Indian”

Nickel Defensive Back Name

  • “Tortured Artist”

Dime Defensive Back Name

  • “Travelin’ Man”

Strong Safety Name

  • “Aunt Avis”

Free Safety Name

  • “The Last Straw”