Walk-up Songs: An In-depth Review

With baseball season upon us, Ole Miss, who you may recall winning a national championship in Omaha last June, released each player’s walk-up song on Thursday afternoon.

As we documented on this site, the list of 38 songs runs across almost all genres of music, minus things like Muzak and Classical, mostly because people like Ludwig van Beethoven, Amadeus Mozart, and Johann Sebastian Bach didn’t have the GUTS to strap on an electric guitar and riff.

While each song is a personal choice and has meaning* to the player who chose it, the need for content demands we rank and categorize the selections based on their merits or lack thereof, as determined by a committee of me. Right about here is where I disclose my excitement when my brain noted the list of unrecognizable artists was held to single digits.

Just something to keep in mind when you consider how much weight to give this exercise. With that, let’s get to ranking and categorizing.

*Shout-out to guys who were asked for 2 weeks about what song they wanted to use, kept saying, “Oh, right, let me get back to you,” and then chose the first thing that came to mind when faced with an ultimatum. We drink from the same spring.

The Classics

• Nelly - “Grillz” (TJ McCants*)
• Lil’ Troy** - “Wanna Be a Baller” (Bo Gatlin)
• AC/DC - “You Shook Me All Night Long” (JT Quinn)
• Metallica - “Wherever I May Roam” (Jackson Kimbrell)
• Wolfmother - “Joker and the Thief” (Hunter Elliott)
• P Diddy, Black Rob, Mark Curry “Bad Boy for Life” (Judd Utermark)
• Michael Jackson - “Beat It” (Josh Mallitz)
• Guns N’ Roses - “Sweet Child O’ Mine” (Sam Tookoian)

*Remember when he hit that home run in Game 1 of the championship series in Omaha? And then singled in the bottom of the 8th in Game 2? That would be fun to do again.

**My freshman year in Stockard there was someone on the floor that, by my rough estimation, played this song at maximum volume approximately 150,000 times. It almost made you forget about the urine that leaked through broken pipes onto the hall floor for 2 months.

#YOUTHS

• Shouse - “Love Tonight - Edit” (Ethan Lege)
• Chenda - “Smooth Criminal” (Ethan Groff)
• Bad Bunny - “Tití Me Preguntó” (Garrett Wood)
• Bad Bunny - “La Romana” (Nathan Fink)
• Rburg - “Empire State of Mind” (Brayden Jones)

Best Song That Is Also Used In A Busch Commercial

• Lynyrd Skynyrd - “Simple Man” (Xavier Rivas)

BUUUSCHHHHHHHHHH.

There is another version involving fit young people, some of which are wearing jorts, running through the woods and jumping off a cliff into lake. It is maybe the best commercial ever made, but I was unable to find any video of it because I got very impatient after about 4 minutes of searching.

Best Selection From A Guy Who Came Into The 6th Inning Of Game 1 Of The CWS Championship Series With No Outs And The Bases Loaded, Struck Out Two, Allowed One Run, And Struck Out The Side In The 7th Inning

• Jimi Hendrix - “Voodoo Child (Slight Return)” (Mason Nichols)

I Mean, The Gold Standard Of Public Address

• Jay-Z - “Public Service Announcement” (Jack Dougherty)

Most Popular Selection

• Ozzy Osbourne - “No More Tears” (Riley Maddox)
• Ozzy Osbourne - “No More Tears” (Patrick Galle)

Top Family Member Song

• Parker Chatagnier - “Feeling Good” (Peyton Chatagnier)

Most Respect for The King

• Elvis Presley - “Rubberneckin’” (Reagan Burford)

Best Song About A Band That Is Coming Apart At The Seams But Trying To Hold On Despite Knowing It’s Over

• Fleetwood Mac - “The Chain - 2004 Remaster” (Tommy Henninger)

Only Song You Will Hear Just Prior To A Swing Exit Velocity North Of 110 Miles Per Hour

• Morgan Wallen - “Way I Talk” (Kemp Alderman)

Let’s Remember How Good The Music Was In A Star Is Born Without Remembering How Depressing That Got

• Bradley Cooper - “Black Eyes” (Cole Ketchum)

YOU DAMN RIGHT

• Mountain - “Mississippi Queen” (Mitch Murrell)

PLAY IT.

As fire of a first 30 or 40 seconds as one could demand. Let’s just ignore whatever that attempt to pronounce Vicksburg was because it does not have a “y” in it.

In Mountain’s defense, they were from Long Island, New York and still managed to pull off “Mississippi Queen.” We shall not speak ill of them in this space.

Mariachi Horns Ahoy

• Johnny Cash - “Ring of Fire” (Cole Tolbert)

MY MAN

• Mark Morrison - “Return of the Mack” (Grayson Saunier)

No idea how his college career will go, but the decision-making process is already ELITE.

Reminds Me Of The Best Closer Entrance In Baseball

• MAKJ & Timmy Trumpet - “Party Till We Die” (Will Furniss)

More Timmy Trumpet:

Look, I Only Have So Much Time To Keep Up. Things Fall Through The Cracks. There Is Good Stuff Here, And I’m Sure Some Of It Is Fine.

• Justin Moore - “Small Town USA” (Calvin Harris)
• Future - “Look Ahead” (Jacob Gonzalez)
• El Alfa - “Botando Chispa” (Jordan Vera)
• Kevin Gates - “Really Really” (Tim Simay)
• Youngboy Never Broke Again - “No Mentions” (Will Plattner)
• A$AP Rocky - “Bad Company” (John Kramer)
• Future - “Promise U That” (Matt Parenteau)
• Ty Dolla $ign - “Blasé (Louis the Child Remix)” (Anthony Calarco)
• Bankroll Fresh - “Walked In” (Banks Tolley)
• Damien “Jr. Gong” Marley - “Welcome to Jamrock” (Brady Disbro)
• Don Toliver - “Had Enough” (Mason Morris)

When You Wear #90 And Also Play On The Defensive Line

• Metro Boomin - “Superhero” (Tywone Malone)