If you’re familiar with the process this exercise, you know that we usually take what we watched from last weekend’s game and seek to process what we witnessed. And because there’s so much to discuss from the Arkansas game, we have no time to waste. We need to get right to it and not take up anyone’s time on this Thanksgi-
[puts hand to ear]
He did what?
And that’s al-
[looks back at camera]
Folks, apparently we’re not going to be discussing the Arkansas game in detail. Who knew!
Additionally, due to it being Thanksgiving, and there is food and drink to consume, deranged family members saying things like, “...also, the Clinton Foundation!” to smile and nod at, and mental strength preparations for the Egg Bowl to be made, this edition will be abbreviated.
What We Know
Mississippi State and Ole Miss will play a game Thursday night
Outside of the standard right to engage in WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU AT ALL PHASES OF LIFE 24/7/365 hollerin’ and opportunity to tweet a teamcatlab postgame video, a couple of things are at stake.
For Ole Miss, a 9-3 record means increasing their chances of a bowl appearance in Florida. Does anyone care about this at all right now? They do not! Just making a note.
For Mississippi State, an 8-4 record means they’re not spending December in Memphis or Birmingham. Does anyone care about this as well? Nope! Also just being helpful.
There’s also the the angle invol
JUST GET TO THE KIFFIN STUFF, GRAY.
Wait, one more thing - Senior Day
As documented earlier this week, 25 guys will participate in the farewell ceremonies honoring their time as Ole Miss players. A doffing of the formal top hat to them and good luck in whatever comes next.
My unsolicited advice is to always remember that no one knows what they’re doing, and everyone is making it up as they go.
Okay, the Kiffin stuff
As of Wednesday night, nothing belongs here. By the time you read this on Thursday, it’s possible this section could be filled with certainties, but right now, it is not.
Jk, one thing belongs here
The last week was weird and not enjoyable! I finally reached the place of “if he leaves, he leaves, life goes on, and Con Air is probably on TNT right now.”
If he does leave, we’re in a better spot than 3 years ago, and the next coach, assuming Ole Miss learns the right lesson from hiring Kiffin*, will be in a great position to keep the train rolling.
*Always hire the best coach available and don’t give one thought to loyalty or the potential of Being a Good Rebel™.
What We Kinda Know
Kiffin is staying at Ole Miss?
On Wednesday night, rumors were swirling, as this is the only motion rumors can make, that Kiffin indicated he was not going to leave for the Auburn job. This allegedly comes after a week in which [gestures at a lot of unnecessary bullshit] occurred.
It’s still unclear whether this will actually come to pass, but thanks to his Twitter feed, a source of SIGNIFICANT ANGST on Monday night, we do have a big clue as to what his decision could be.
CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS ARE UP.
If you’ve ever prepared to moved, there is no scenario on God’s green earth where you are doing anything to add to the trash experience of packing. Getting something out that’s already packed prior to moving is sociopathic behavior.
UNLESS IT’S AT HIS NEW HOUSE IN AUBURN.
However, this clue is probably a little more solid. Again, probably.
An update on Lane Kiffin and the Auburn coaching search:— Matt Zenitz (@mzenitz) November 24, 2022
Sources tell me and @SpiritBen from @OMSpiritOn3 that Kiffin told Ole Miss players Wednesday evening that, unless something significantly changes, he’s planning on staying with the Rebels.https://t.co/XCMX1SyMjm pic.twitter.com/5HGJSOyrnd
Kiffin is leaving for Auburn?
Coming in to Wednesday, rumors were swirling counterclockwise that Kiffin was going to be the next coach at Auburn after multiple interviews, meetings, and discussions with the Auburn people who make that decision. This allegedly was part of a week in which [gestures at a lot of unnecessary bullshit] occurred.
Just as in the above scenario, it’s unclear if this will come to pass, but this scenario is trending in the not as likely direction. I don’t have any social media clues to offer, but if Hugh Freeze restarts the birthday retweets for someone’s cousin’s brother-in-law, he’s back in SEC.
What We Don’t Know
How this comes to pass
Let’s take a look at some scenarios:
- Ole Miss wins, Kiffin stays, and a chunk of the fanbase remains irked (IRKED) over the job hunting, and we’re all in need of some healing
- Ole Miss wins big, Kiffin stays, a chunk of the fanbase is less irked (IRKED) over the job hunting, and we’re all on the path to healing
- Ole Miss wins, Kiffin leaves, message board servers melt, and the #takes generate enough nuclear energy to power all homes in the United States through 2145
- Ole Miss loses, Kiffin leaves, the message board I TOLD YOU SO horde assembles, Hugh Freezes name is insanely copied and pasted on said message boards 11 billion times, and the #takes are spicy but not face melting
- Ole Miss loses big, Kiffin leaves, the message board I TOLD YOU SO horde assembles, the re-writing of the Kiffin era history is as inane as wanting Hugh Freeze to be head coach, and someone, somewhere will ask whether Ole Miss should kick the tires on Matt Luke - Refreshed! A new perspective! Learned from his mistakes! Definitely not going to leave! A Good Rebel™!
Whatever happens, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone but Jimmy Sexton.