I have no earthly idea why Ole Miss has a bye week this early in the season.
Yes, it’s great to have an extra week to prepare for No. 1 Alabama, but it would also be good to continue hanging half a hundred every week on whatever poor soul graces the field against the Rebels.
So, Ole Miss isn’t playing, and if you’re anything like me, you might have some kids playing soccer or fall ball in the morning, but eventually, the time comes to do something with your free Saturday afternoon. And it’s going to be watching football, gambling on games that you shouldn’t, and putting off mowing the lawn despite your neighbor’s passive aggressive comments about how “full the yard looks”.
Heck off, Bill.
We only get a baker’s dozen or so of these Saturdays, so find a good spot on the couch or patio or whatever, get some crispy boys, make a big sandwich and let the college football wash over you.
And when these games seem very boring or inconsequential, play our drinking game... RESPONSIBLY.
- Will Rogers check down pass: take a very tiny sip, please be responsible with this sip or you will be in trouble as 45 of these are coming your way
- Coach O rips off polo on sideline: finish your drink and throw a chair while hollerin’ “Ole Miss Wild Boys”
- Vanderbilt touchdown: chug your drink and talk about how Erk Russell’s 1980 Georgia defense would’ve never let that bullshit happen
- Southern Miss touchdown: take a shot, get on social media, create a fake Bama fan profile, and rail against the team
- Jerry Jones is an Arkansas alum: take a drink and say something terrible about Wal-Mart just bc Arkansas
- Camera focuses on Jimbo Fisher’s bald head: take four drinks and run your fingers through your thick, lustrous hair
- Lane Kiffin or Matt Corral is mentioned even though Ole Miss ain’t playing: finish your drink and tweet at whatever network is broadcasting how much you enjoy their #content
- “Pac12 After Dark” comment on-air: take a drink and honestly if you’re awake for this, kudos to you being hammered and watching like Oregon St. and USC at midnight