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We ranked every Ole Miss football away game for the 2021 season

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Don’t forget the coozies and the ice.

Texas A&M vs Alabama

The 2020 season was everything I could have hoped for. There were highs and lows, but Ole Miss beat a top-15 team in a bowl game, ended the season 5-5 with an all-SEC schedule, and has a quarterback proving to everyone that he should be a Heisman candidate.

I’m staying hopeful that Covid-19 will be a distant memory come September 6th, and that we all will be able to walk into sold-out stadiums and tailgate in the Grove again. I will also be continuing my journey to the various college towns on the schedule.

As always, we will be employing the following criteria for each game’s rankings. BEHOLD:

  • Watchability. Is the game/atmosphere going to be entertaining?
  • Culture of the opposing fanbase.
  • Sometimes weather/temperature.
  • Whatever else I feel is relevant.

Get in loser, we’re hitting the road.

No. 5 — Nov. 25th at Mississippi State

Watchability: Holiday vibes

Culture of the opposing fanbase: Very insecure

Temperature: Maybe a scarf? 14 zip, for sure

Ugh, I didn’t even really want to put them on the list. I drove to Starkville last year, and it was the worst. I tried to have a good attitude, but I couldn’t believe that people willingly choose to go to school there. I get a headache thinking about having to sit through four hours of cowbell ringing.

The only thing that is exciting is imagining the 50,000 State fans that will be pissed off losing to the “school up north” back to back.

No. 4 — Oct. 30th at Auburn

Watchability: HALLOWEEN VIBES

Culture of the opposing fanbase: Toilet paper cult

Temperature: Perfect

I have a personal vendetta towards Bo Nix. He’s terrible but somehow convinces people every year that he might turn out to be good. However, a new era of Auburn football will begin this year with the firing of Gus Malzahn. New head coach Brian Harsin has a lot of pressure to change the trajectory of the program, and it will be interesting to see all of the changes he makes.

I traveled down to this game two years ago and absolutely loved it. (besides losing and the weird eagle flying around.) I’m already excited to see all of the super weird traditions, again. But as cool as the toilet paper trees are, I hope they’re completely empty in October.

No. 3 — Oct. 16th at Tennessee

Watchability: Revenge game, kind of?

Culture of the opposing fanbase: Perpetually stuck in 1998

Temperature: Should be niiiice

Surprisingly, I’m excited to see the ol’ Rocky Top. I don’t love Ole Miss’ record against them when playing there, but I do think that if there is a time to do it, it’s this year. With a first-year head coach and a huge amount of players transferring, the Volunteers are vulnerable.

Kiffin returning will also be a lot of fun, and I have no doubt that he will play into it. As disinterested as he is, he does a great job of clowning people for being too sensitive.

No. 2 — Sept. 6th vs. Louisville (at Mercedes Benz Stadium)

Watchability: PRIMETIME BABY

Culture of the opposing fanbase: Baseball school

Temperature: Indoors [chef’s kiss]

While playing Louisville isn’t super exciting, playing Louisville in Atlanta to open up Labor Day weekend is!!!! I’ve never been to Atlanta, so I can’t wait to play them there. It is on a Monday night which is not ideal. It’s also going to be toasty. Please tell me all of your best Atlanta recommendations.

No. 1 — Oct. 2nd at Alabama

Watchability: Must-see TV

Culture of the opposing fanbase: Sidewalk fan cult

Temperature: Hopefully not too bad

Ole Miss will be heading into T-Town to open up SEC play against the defending National Champions. They will be coming off of a bye week, probably going to be 3-0, and it will be Kiffin’s first time back in Tuscaloosa… Dare I say College Gameday? The last (and first) time I made it to Bryant-Denny stadium, I thought that I was going to die. I have never been hotter in my entire life, but I doubt that they make this another 2pm game.

Winning in Alabama is next to impossible, but it’s been six years and I think it’s time. I will personally do snow angels on the field if we win.