On Monday of this week, Mississippi governor Tate Reeves signed a bill that will allow college athletes in the state to make money off their name, image, and likeness starting July 1st. The law, officially called the Mississippi Intercollegiate Athletics Compensation Right Act, is cousins with bills passed in six other states who also had no interest (for good reason!) in waiting on the NCAA or the federal GUBMINT to pass legislation giving athletes this right.
However, the Mississippi version gives schools the ability to “impose reasonable limitations on the dates and times a student-athlete may participate in any endorsement activities”, which means an Ole Miss athlete will likely not be the Samuel L. Jackson of local ads and be in every local ad as long as the check clears. The law also prohibits athletes from endorsing things like gambling sites, tobacco products, and all other things that fall under the umbrella of sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll.
If you’re thinking, finally, people in positions of power came to their senses and realized these athletes should get money that belongs to them, welllllllllllllllll, not exactly. According to Mississippi House member C. Scott Bounds, it was because:
...[W]e don’t want to lose a competitive edge in recruiting, both athletically and academically, especially against those in the Southeastern Conference.
Not the main reason I’d go for, but whatever works!
With the possibility of local commercials now on the table for Ole Miss athletes, I came up with a few VERY LOCAL TELEVISION AD spots, starring our Ole Miss athletic sons and daughters, that Oxford business are free to use as they see fit. All I need in exchange is a prestigious executive producer credit.
“Buffet Busters” starring the Ole Miss offensive line
We open with quick cuts of offensive linemen hitting the blocking sled on the practice field. We hear the pop of pads, the mechanical strains of the blocking sled being smashed by large individuals, and grunts of those hitting the sled.
After a few hits, the camera cuts to starting center Ben Brown, who removes his helmet and speaks directly to the camera.
Brown: Hi, I’m Ole Miss offensive lineman Ben Brown. When me and the guys aren’t working hard to clean out defensive linemen so our offense can score touchdowns, we’re replenishing our energy by cleaning out our favorite Oxford lunchtime buffet at China Royal.
Cut to offensive linemen inside China Royal going through the buffet line, piling food on to their plates. We see cuts of the various foods as Brown names them.
Brown (voice over): The buffet at China Royal has everything you love. Beef, chicken, shrimp, chow mein, egg rolls, you name it. And of course it also has your traditional favorites.
Camera cuts to Brown and starting left tackle Nick Broeker seated in a booth. Brown starts a conversation with Broeker while he eats his food.
Brown: Another plate of General Tso’s chicken, Nick?
Broeker: It’s my third one. I love this stuff.
Brown: Wow, I haven’t seen a general take a beating like that since Lee went to Pennsylvania.
Cut to exterior shot with Brown standing in front of the restaurant, with the China Royal name visible behind him, and speaking directly to the camera.
Brown: So visit China Royal for the best lunch buffet in Oxford. If you can’t make it for lunch and the accompanying afternoon-destroying nap, they’re open until 11 PM, every Sunday through Friday. We may not be here, but the food you love will be.
“Step Up Your Vocab” starring Matt Corral
We open with exterior shots of Square Books from different angles. Traffic and people pass by in the foreground. The sequence closes with a tight shot of the “Square Books” sign on the exterior wall.
The camera cuts to inside the store where we see Ole Miss starting quarterback Matt Corral leaning against a bookshelf, thumbing through a book. Corral senses the presence of the camera, then looks up to speak directly to the camera.
Corral: Well, hello there. I’m Ole Miss starting quarterback Matt Corral. You know, although I make it look pretty easy, it’s really not that easy leading the country in total offense.
He closes the book and begins to slowly walk around the store while holding the book.
Corral: It takes intense preparation, practice, and perfect execution during the games. And all of that work can take its toll during the season.
That’s why, when I get the chance, I like to slip away to Square Books, one of the country’s best independent bookstores right here in Oxford.
Richard Howorth walks by, Corral turns to him and shakes his hand.
Corral: Hey, Richard.
Corral looks back at the camera.
Corral: At Square Books, I can find a good read to help take my mind off being a passing downs god among mortals or spinning it 65-plus with a flick of the wrist. Whether it’s on the best seller list, a classic from Mississippi’s wealth of wonderful writers, or something off the beaten path, Square Books has it.
Cut to outside the store, with Corral standing in front of the store and the store name is visible behind him.
Corral: Sure, there are independent bookstores in SEC towns like Tuscaloosa, Auburn, and Starkville. But what sets Square Books apart is they offer literature, not coloring books. So next time you’re on the Square, stop by, say hello, and find a book that doesn’t come with complimentary crayons.
“Target Acquired and Lit” starring the Ole Miss Rifle Team
We open with tight shots and quick cuts of rifle team members adjusting their rifles and preparing to aim at a target. After a few moments, the team readies themselves and gets into shooting position, staring through their sights at the targets we can’t see.
The camera cuts to behind the targets, facing the rifle team. As the camera moves slowly right to left, we see the unidentified targets in the foreground, with the rifle team in position in the background. The camera cuts to a close-up of one team member’s eye, staring down the rifle sight at the target. After a beat, we hear an exhaled breath, followed by the sound of the team firing at their targets.
The camera cuts to directly in front of a team member, who looks up from her rifle and at the target, surveying where she hit it. The camera cuts to behind the team members as they walk to the targets to remove them. As they reach the targets, the camera cuts to behind a darkened target, which takes up the whole screen but reveals a perfect hole of light through the center.
As the target is removed, the camera cuts to a tight shot of a team member turning and revealing the target to the camera. After the turn, we see a waffle with a hole in the middle. The camera zooms in on the waffle, then the screen transitions to a counter in a restaurant. The screen starts to dim, and a superscript with a logo fades into the screen.