On Wednesday, Lane Kiffin and company checked yet another recruiting box with the addition of four-star defensive tackle Tywone Malone to the 2021 class. Given his size, quickness, and strength, Malone will likely be in the mix for playing time the moment he gets on campus because those three attributes are not readily available in the defensive line depth chart.
While the hype around what he could bring to the defensive line is everyone’s primary focus, Malone also plans to play baseball at Ole Miss, where he could do some damage to opposing pitchers with his absurd power. Of course, that doesn’t cover the times he’ll be asked to bunt because YOU KNOW WHO CAN’T HELP HIMSELF.
However, as the internet dot com’s preeminent blog for enjoying dingers, it is our duty to explore the space of Malone’s high school work in the field of smashing dingers on dingers on dingers. Thankfully, there were some real heroes out there who had future #content ideas in mind when they decided to video all the home runs.
Starting from the top, which is a good place to start, let’s take in Tywone Malone getting a lot of pitchers SHOOK.
(1) Cussin’-inspiring dinger
Any home run that causes someone to cuss in order to adequately express their amazement is gonna be at the top of the list. And let’s not sleep on our narrator’s most important quote:
You damn right. That’s baseball right there.
Indeed it is, sir. It’s the only way to play.
(2) “Oh my.”
WELL SAID, BOB.
Dave & Busters would also like to thank Malone for the extra camera time.
(3) 400+ feet NBD
In the words of Bob Uecker, “Malone swings and crushes this one toward South America.”
LOOK AT THIS.
(4) Let’s do it again
At this point, we have to question his power.
Can’t hit the upper part of the batter’s eye in consecutive at bats? GOTTA QUESTION HIS TIME IN THE WEIGHT ROOM, BOB.
(5) Do all dingers sound like that?
Perhaps the fastest time from the sound of contact to the chorus of OHHHHHHHHHHs.
Bonus shout-out to the third base coach for wearing shorts. It’s hot and baseball coaches wearing the uniform is one of the dumbest things in sports.
(6) The pitcher regrets not hitting his spot
Whenever a catcher is set up outside and has to reach back inside for the pitch, unfortunate things are going to happen. Like, say, a rocket shot to center that leaves no doubt.
(7) “Yep. See ya.”
Lol, the immediacy and delivery of the line. Five out of five stars. Would recommend!
(8) The curveball that actually stops right over the plate
We love to see no movement from the infielders upon contact.
(9) Finally, a quality bat flip
Let the record show that even if the home plate area is in a pit and the dirt has not been watered since 1987, a dinger can still happen.
(10) Yet again, the sound
After letting the sound wash over you, notice the umpire standing off to the side instead of being behind home plate calling the balls and strikes. My point being, BRING ON THE ROBOTS.