The first year for any head coach brings with it a bevy of questions. Coaching staff changes, offensive philosophy, new recruiting battles, and general day to day operations can all bring about a rapid change in culture for a program.
Among the questions concerning the Lane Kiffin era at Ole Miss, an inquiry about his sideline demeanor won’t crack the top 20, which means the staff at Red Cup Rebellion are the only outlet with enough courage to attempt to answer this question.
Kiffin. as Alabama’s offensive coordinator, is most famously known for throwing up the touchdown signal on the sideline prior to quarterback Blake Sims even setting his feet validating the parallel arms in the air with a 58-yard touchdown pass. However, to be clear, we are not concerned with assistant behavior only his sideline demeanor as a head coach.
Fortunately for us, the production wizards at Fox Sports decided to break out a Kiffin Cam during the first half of Florida Atlantic’s 2019 season-opener against Ohio State. If you ever wanted to watch a camera pointed directly at Lane Kiffin for an hour and a half while his team is crushed by the weight of Ohio State, you could do it!
The game didn’t start out well for Kiffin and company, as Ohio State came out of the gate engaged in not-messing-around mode, jumping on FAU 28-0 in the first quarter. The Owls were able to somewhat right the ship in the second quarter, shutting out the Buckeyes and adding a field goal before halftime to trail 28-3 after 30 minutes.
They would go on to lose 45-21, BUT outscored Ohio State in the second half, 18-17. We love an 18-er.
Through the power of screenshots from the Kiffin Cam and interpreting what was happening in his inner monologue, as well as his words into the headset and to others on the sideline, we can get a preview of what will unfold on the Ole Miss sideline in 2020 and beyond:
“No matter what happens, remember the big check we’re getting for coming up to the fitted backwards hat capitol of the world.”
“We love a good scoreboard gaze. Not a scoreboard squint because that looks ridiculous. Squinters should do something about that 20/60 vision, fam.”
“Are they allowed to score that quickly? That seemed a little fast. Let’s check the rules on that one.”
“A 14-0 deficit in less than four minutes calls for my disappointed dad look. We can do better!”
“Have we considered not doing dumb things? I think we should consider it since it’s 21-0, and we’ve played six minutes. Just a thought.”
“Okay, I’m sending you in because I don’t want it to be 21-0 anymore. Let’s see if we can make it not be 21-0. Sound good?”
“Note: 28-0 is worse than 21-0. Would not recommend. Abandon all plays that got us to 28-0. Full stop.”
“Hold this piece of paper, with which I am disgusted.”
“Maybe a touchdown here? Let’s go 50 percent arms up just in case.”
“Enjoying that camera angle, fellas?”
“Why? Can someone tell me why? Why should I not stick my face in a fan right now? Because what I’m watching makes me want to go the face-in-the-fan route.”
“Power squat feels right.”
“I AM POINTING TO THE AREA OF YOUR CREW’S GARBAGE-ASS CALL, SIR. THERE SHOULD BE NO CONFUSION, MY GOOD MAN. OVER THERE IS WHERE YOU STINK, KIND GENT.”
(Internal exasperation over incompetence)
“RIP Mexican Pizza and shredded chicken items at Taco Bell. You were a city on a hill, a fountain of joy, and a mild cleanser of the colon. We shall always miss you.”
“Avoided a first-half shutout to a top-five team on the road. Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
The disappointed dad vibes were strong this day on the field, and there will undoubtedly be many to come this season and hopefully more Kiff Cam for the haters OF WHICH THERE ARE MANY to enjoy.