After a year and a half long process, the Confederate soldier statue located at the front of the Circle at Ole Miss will be relocated. The Mississippi Institutions of Higher Learning voted to approve the measure on Thursday morning following a request from Chancellor Glenn Boyce and the university. This means that an antique eyesore will be finally be eradicated, but also leaves a vacant space in front of the most iconic and beautiful part of campus.
We have a few ideas on what could go in place of the soon-to-be-moved statue:
The ‘No Brainer’ statue
Ole Miss and Oxford personified. Duh.
The ‘Welcome to Ole Miss’ statue
What could be better than a familiar, smiling face waving hello to those arriving on campus.
The ‘Oxford Staple’ Statue
When most people think about the small town in north Mississippi, they think tradition, southern hospitality, the Square and cuisine. We think this would encompass all four ideas.
Alternatively, what gets people going more than a Funky’s daiquiri on a hot summer day?
The ‘Hugh Freeze Memorial’ Statue
There is a select group of people in Oxford that appear to hold on to the past longer than they should. This statue brings that nostalgia and a good reminder of what not to do in life.
The ‘Legend’ Statue
Serving both as a tribute to the highest of highs (knocking off No. 1 Alabama with College Gameday in town) and to our fearless leader Katy, as well as a troll job to LSU, it’s perfect.
The ‘Greek Gods’ Statue
We didn’t even have to sculpt this one, it’s already chiseled.
The ‘Whiskey and Meat’ statue
No one encompasses Ole Miss baseball and culture more than big daddy Sikes Orvis.
The ‘Bad Boy’ statue
Ole Miss is the villain of the SEC. Embrace it. Love it. Live it.
The ‘Fake Pee Pee’ fountain
Forget the statue, it’s all about love.
The ‘Chad Kelly Renderings’
We had a few ideas for how to unlock the Swag...
The first is the ‘Fear None’ statue.
The second is the ‘Super Swole’ statue.
The third is the ‘Get in Loser, We’re Going (Sugar) Bowling’ statue.
The fourth and final is the ‘running out of the house dressed like Woody from Toy Story being chased by a man with a vacuum after breaking and entering into the wrong home because you’re too lit at Von Miller’s halloween party’ statue.
Obviously, we nailed it. Given the chance, which would you vote for?