Now that everyone is locked down, socially distanced, and engaging in conversation with pieces of furniture to some degree, we’re all adapting to our circumstances. Meetings that could’ve been emails no longer take place in person, but meetings that could’ve been emails now take place over the internet via your school or company’s preferred choice of online meeting.
College football coaches are also unable to escape the requirements of no in-person contact, which means the recruiting game has shifted operations to the world wide web. Because this is a new way of recruiting and many of the adapters are people who can send 483 texts in an hour but can’t technology beyond that, you can expect some hiccups along the way.
As you read this, Ole Miss coaches are out on the information superhighway right now making their pitches to recruits.
However, when it comes to your four- and five-star recruits, an individual online conversation isn’t enough. No sir, those elite players need the full-court press from most of the coaching staff.
Through our double-secret contacts at Red Cup Rebellion, we were able to get a screenshot of such an effort on your favorite four- or five-star recruit. Here’s an exclusive look at Lane Kiffin and company virtual recruiting.
As I said, hiccups will occur. Not sure if Kiffin thinks the football can go through the webcam to the recruit, but it certainly appears that way.
Just below Kiffin, Terrell Buckley is violating the unwritten rules of social distancing by putting on a suit. I cannot recall a greater violation of our understood social contract that clearly states the most formal thing you can wear at home during these times are your formal sweatpants/basketball shorts (the pair with only one food stain). How dare he.
Rebel the Black Bear and Tony the Landshark managed to get in somehow. Probably should make the password something other than Ezo3&FDisj391$!$z.
Derrick Nix pressed the wrong button, has no idea how to change his settings, and will forever appear in all meetings as radiating baby Yoda. Next to him, Blake Gideon incredibly figured out how to run the meeting software through an original 8-bit Nintendo.
In the lower left, Ole Miss play-by-play announcer David Kellum stumbled into the meeting. He was trying to talk with friends but remains trapped in this meeting. He’s currently on the phone with Harry Harrison trying to figure out how to leave.
To the right of Kellum, Chris Partridge is using an actual microphone because DON’T CARE JUST GET CROOTS. And finally, no meeting with recruits is complete without the bag man. Even in these non-take-this-briefcase times, it’s important to let recruits know we can still take care of you on the line.