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Your Friday Dose of MILK IT

Even if you’re out of your routine or not in the office, we need to carry on the tradition of running out the clock on a Friday.

SB Nation

With life out of the ordinary for everyone right now, we all need a few tastes of normalcy to give ourselves the slightest of breaks. Even five minutes of something very, very stupid, which you are about to undertake, allows you to turn your brain off and just be a person staring at a screen (the best version of ourselves!).

There are few better ways to accomplish this goal than taking in a dose of milking the clock on a Friday until it’s quittin’ time. However, this particular dose of MILK IT isn’t readily available, which means we need to find it.

Fortunately for us, I have sources in many places. Some are saying maybe the best sources. Many are saying, with tears in their eyes, the sources are perfect.

Whatever the beautiful, very talented people are saying, I have learned this Friday’s dose of MILK IT is located in Tad Smith Coliseum, a building left on the Ole Miss campus by aliens who visited in the 1960s.

The tricky part of a visit to the Tad Pad is that, even when it was in use, its condition could best be described as “the roof probably won’t collapse, but if it does, no refunds.” Now that it’s no longer in use, its structural integrity or whatever lives in the basement is probably not great!

With that in mind, we cautiously venture into the Tad Pad to find Friday’s dose of MILK IT.

Well, that doesn’t look creepy at all! Surely this will be fine once we get closer.

Nope!

I, for one, regret this idea. But, as the horror movies tell us, once you say something like that, you are required to go charging into the thing that will cut you into a million pieces.

The interior looks like it’s holding up as well as it can. The floor is clearly solid enough that it can hold up three Randy Kennedy’s still dancing away.

Alongside decaying streamers (LOL now, but they were TOTALLY AWESOME BACK IN THE DAY), important banners still hang.

As much as we enjoy the dancing Randy Kennedy’s, we still haven’t found the dose of MILK IT. Let us leave the floor and walk to the light. Going into the concourse will eventually get us to the basement, which is where our dose could be.

BEHOLD: Storage Room C in said basement:

Let it never be said the Tad Pad was not equipped to handle a 10-minute rain shower.

Hark, a light beyond the furnace and chimney ahead! Could that bright light be where our dose is? Let us peer around this wall.

The glass separates us, but it’s Rebel the black bear, setting an example of self-isolation in his retirement habitat.

Friends, over the next however long, be smart, stay safe, and wash your daggum hands.