As you, dear reader, read this piece of written digital word, the Ole Miss Rebels are currently in the midst of its second-straight BYE week and 1,000th of the season (roughly).
Unless, of course, you are reading this decades from now because your grandfather said, “I remember COVID-19 and the hard-hitting journalism that came out of Red Cup Rebellion on something called the internet. God bless Vox Media.” In that case, I truly am sorry your life has gone awry.
Regardless of when you are processing this information in your brain, as I am writing this, Ole Miss does not have the prospect of a game this weekend against Texas A&M due to COVID issues in the Rebels’ program. The concept of playing the Aggies is fading more and more into just that by the day: a concept and not a reality. If Ole Miss fails to face the Fightin’ Ags, they do have a date scheduled with the Bayou Bengals on Dec. 19. Let’s hope that one is at least played - I mean it’s the extremely historic Magnolia Bowl with another extremely meaningful trophy on the line!
Since it is my duty by Red Cup law to inform you of the games on tap each weekend that Ole Miss football does not play, I have come back to the keyboard once again to fill you in on this weekend’s shenanigans. Let’s dive in to some of the contests I deemed as notable.
NOTE: The dates and times of these games are all central and subject to change because, ya know, COVID.
NOTE (x2): These #gamblin lines I include are also subject to change because, ya know, #gamblin.
No. 1 Alabama @ Arkansas
Saturday, 11 a.m. — ESPN
Current line: Alabama -32.0
Meh. It’s gonna be a Black Friday stampede at Wal-Mart all over again.
No. 9 Georgia @ No. 25 Missouri
Saturday, 11 a.m. — SEC Network
Current line: Georgia -13.0
Remember when Missouri was horrid? Now they’re in the Top 25. You, too, can achieve anything you set your mind to. Eli Drinkwitz, cheers.
Rutgers @ Maryland
Saturday, 11 a.m. — BTN
Current line: Maryland -6.5
One of my favorite pastimes is including Rutgers on this watchlist even though I know literally none of you are going to watch them.
Michigan State @ Penn State
Saturday, 11 a.m. — ABC
Current line: Penn State -14.5
Two premiere national powerhouse programs James Franklin is doing well
Michigan @ Ohio State
Canceled Eat at IHOP.
No. 13 Coastal Carolina @ Troy
Saturday, 2 p.m. — ESPN+
Current line: Coastal Carolina -13.5
Put the Beach Chickens in the playoff, you cowards.
Navy vs. Army
Saturday, 2 p.m. — CBS
Current line: Army -7.0
This is one of my favorite games of the year. It is football played in the way God intended: full of the triple option and troops. It feels weird having this matchup in a week full of other contests, but it’ll be fun regardless.
No. 17 North Carolina @ No. 10 Miami (Fla.)
Saturday, 2:30 p.m. — ABC
Current line: Miami -3.0
I rarely look forward to ACC football, but this one should be full of scoring. The O/U is currently at 69 (nice), and we may blow past that*.
* never take my gambling advice
Duke @ Florida State
Saturday, 3 p.m. — ACCN
Current line: Florida State -5.0
I did not know Duke only had two wins this season until I started writing this. The combined record of the Blue Devils and Seminoles is 4-14, so if you’re a sucker for pain, watch David Cutcliffe and the boys take on Mike Norvell.
Tennessee @ Vanderbilt
Saturday, 3 p.m. — SEC Network
Current line: Tennessee -16.0
Hopefully you’ll still be watching the 2:30 games instead of this 3 o’clock slate.
LSU @ No. 6 Florida
Saturday, 6 p.m. — ESPN
Current line: Florida -23.5
ESPN has decided to put LSU’s next execution on its mothership network, so that’s fun.
No. 15 USC @ UCLA
Saturday, 6:30 p.m. — ABC
Current line: USC -2.5
PAC-12 AT-OR-AROUND DARK.
Auburn @ Mississippi State
Saturday, 6:30 p.m. — SEC Network
Current line: Auburn -6.5
Weeping and gnashing of teeth. Can we get 3-2 volume two?!?
Stanford @ Oregon State
Saturday, 9 p.m. — ESPNU
Current line: Stanford -3
PAC-12 AFTER DARK.
UNLV @ Hawai’i
Saturday, 10 p.m. — probably a Facebook livestream somewhere
Current line: Hawai’i -20.0
We stan Hawai’i football.