Hello and welcome to the official blog of Thanksgiving, Red Cup Rebellion!
We at RCR take our role as your source of all food-related #content very seriously, but we also know some of you care about the sport of American football which, coincidentally, happens to be very prevalent around this very important holiday. While some of you indulge in dishes of carbs galore, you will be subsequently witnessing the most patriotic of exercises on television: 22 men running full speed at one another carrying a leather orb filled with air across a lined pasture. This is an exercise we approve of, no matter the day on the calendar.
Why am I talking about food and football together, you may ask? Because since the dawn of time, the two have been inseparable. There are many similarities between the two, which, if you haven’t figured it out yet, is the whole reason for this piece of journalism. I have decided to assign the rivalry* matchups on tap this week to an official Thanksgiving dish. These games and dishes have many of the same innate characteristics, so they will forever be tied together in both spirit and essence.
* some of the games this week aren’t official “rivalries” per se due to the scheduling difficulties brought on by COVID-19, but by God they’re rivalries now because they fall on Thanksgiving week. So, if your team isn’t playing its typical Thanksgiving game (like Georgia), congratulations, you now have a new rival!
NOTE: These comparisons were a group endeavor by the staff here at Red Cup, so if you have any facts about a violation, send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. If not, please do not slander these young men or their family send tweet.
Vanderbilt at Missouri — Squash casserole
Not really sure what it is when you see it? Not sure why there’s so much yellow? Not in a conference that fits your geographic region? Yeah, could be either squash casserole or a matchup between Vandy and Mizzou.
I’m told there are those who enjoy squash casserole, but I’ve never found a person admit it when put on the spot, much like this week’s matchup.
Iron Bowl — Mac & Cheese
When it’s done right, it absolutely can be the most important dish on the table, and sometimes even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good, like Bama and Auburn. The added intrigue of a missing head coach this season is like the time your aunt threw some blue cheese crumbles on top of her tried and true recipe and half the family revolted.
LSU at Texas A&M — Sweet Potato Casserole
It’s very filling, but it’s ultimately just “fine.” This one hasn’t become the traditional Thanksgiving rivalry to me I think the SEC wants it to be. In my mind, LSU and Arkansas should still be playing this week. Regardless, it’s sometimes a pretty fun brand of football and can add a sweet taste to a strong day.
Georgia at South Carolina — Stuffing
Look, I’m going to be honest: stuffing is trash. Much like this isn’t a traditional rivalry, stuffing isn’t a good, traditional Thanksgiving dish, but since COVID-19 has spoken, we’ll make an exception. Still, I’m not sure this food or game will be enjoyable for anyone involved.
Egg Bowl — Turkey and Dressing
It screams “Thanksgiving,” but it also screams “intestinal agony.” You eat far too much, and by the time it’s over, you just lie down on the floor and writhe around in pain.
Kentucky at Florida — Green Bean Casserole
It’s somewhat fun and sounds like a classic, but it hasn’t really been competitive with the bigger dishes in a long time. To put in perspective how uncompetitive this series has been, Kentucky’s win over the Gators in 2018 was its first since 1986. Before 1986? 1979. So yeah, it may sound fun, but it’s usually not.