Are you eagerly scouring the internet for someone who can lead you to the path of enormous wealth with very little work?
Have you plopped down at your desk and are counting the hours until the weekend dreaming of a day when you’re Warren Buffett rich?
Or have you pretty much become a degenerate gambler now that you can bet sports in Mississippi?
Welcome to the Red Cup Betting Guide, weary friend — the premier source for betting picks that are just a shade better than flipping a coin! Yes, literally last season this guide was two games above .500, and according to a math nerd I just asked in the office, it’s “pretty good I guess?”
If you’re not familiar, the RCBG will offer you four or five picks for upcoming college football games, and sometimes even pick the Ole Miss game if I feel like it. Generally, we’ll pick an over, an under, a spread, and a money line just to make things a little more interesting and diversified.
But for this week, you’re going to place some bets that will hit months from now just in time for Christmas when you begin talking to your family again before bowl season starts. Don’t believe the critics, you can buy back their love with gifts after months of neglect.
These are the Red Cup futures picks for win totals in the SEC.
Alabama — 11 wins
I mean, at this point, is it really that insane to assume they are going 12-0? It’s not really that great of a payoff to bet the over in this situation depending on what book you’re looking at, so for me, I’ll take the under at +150 or so and the likelihood of a push with 11 wins is decent enough to hedge a loss.
Arkansas — 5.5 wins
I’m not a believer in what is going on at Arkansas right now. Going from 2-10 to bowl eligibility is a bridge too far when your hard earned cheddar is on the line. I’ll be taking the under and hoping the Rebels have me brimming with confidence in that pick in week two.
Auburn — 7.5
Heart disease and betting on Auburn football are the two leading causes of hospitalizations in the state of Alabama, according to science. This line is going to depend on the season opener with Oregon at Jerry World, and the Tigers should get off to a great start before a stretch of three back to back road games and two of its final three games against Georgia and Alabama. I’m advising you to go with the over tenuously as the difference between 8-4 and 7-5 for this team is probably a few plays, but I’ll say Auburn’s defense and an experienced signal caller will be the difference.
Florida — 9
I’ve got the Gators at 10-2 after going through the schedule a dozen times or so, and I think Dan Mullen will have a ton of pressure to make it seem like Florida is closing the gap on Georgia and Alabama. The non-conference rivals (Miami and Florida State) just aren’t what they used to be and should bolster the win total to double digits.
Georgia — 11
Kirby Smart seemingly looked like he had gotten the closest to Nick Saban and Alabama in the SEC the past two seasons in terms of overall success. Clearly, the sustainability of year in and year out success is what is most difficult to achieve in the SEC. I think Smart and Georgia might take a couple lumps this year with a ton of pressure on Jake Fromm to have a phenomenal year with less experienced weapons on offense. I’d take the under and sleep easy.
Kentucky — 6.5
There are definitely three non-conference wins on the schedule, plus they get Tennessee, Mizzou, Arkansas, and Florida at home in addition to the finale against rival Louisville. Road trips to Vanderbilt, Mississippi State, and South Carolina have me thinking 7-5 is totally possible for the unsinkable Mark Stoops. Bet the over but don’t go crazy nuts on it.
LSU — 9
I honestly think LSU is going to go about 9-3, and when I remember who their head coach is, I’m totally good with betting the under and continue watching the Ed Orgeron experiment tumble and bumble along.
Ole Miss — 5
Young quarterbacks, new coordinators, playing in the toughest conference in college football, and most likely needing a 4-0 start to get to six wins — it’s a lot to overcome, and when it comes to a bet, the safest one here is to put it on the under. I’m not a good Rebel, and I also don’t care.
Mississippi State — 7.5
UNDER, UNDER, UNDER, holy smokes take the under and then buy a glittery bass boat with money you don’t have, because it’ll all come back to you by December. The Bulldogs are replacing a ton on defense, have to figure out who the QB is, and Joe Moorhead is doing this intermittent fasting thing that may cause him to pass tf out during a hot game. I’d at least put a mortgage payment on this. BET RESPONSIBLY THOUGH.
Missouri — 8
When these numbers were first released, Mizzou was slotted at 6.5 or 7 as an over/under. It has skyrocketed to an eight, because degenerate gamblers jumped all over that number. There’s a favorable schedule for the Tigers plus the addition of former Clemson QB Kelly Bryant. I don’t see any reason why this can’t be the dark horse team of the SEC East and maybe surprise with a very memorable season. Bet the over and watch the Tigers shock a couple folks.
South Carolina — 5.5
USC just can’t seem to get right in a top heavy SEC East. They are only projected to win maybe one more game than Vanderbilt this year and have non-conference tilts with North Carolina and a typically strong Appalachian State. I think this could be a long year for the Gamecocks with the nation’s toughest schedule in the preseason, so I’ll be taking the under for a 5-7 likely finish for USC.
Tennessee — 6.5
Year two of the Jeremy Pruitt era is going to be an improvement for the Vols, but the Vols ain’t “back baybay” just yet. I’m predicting seven or eight wins for the shade of orange that literally no one actually enjoys. This team should really gel and click late in the season and finish strong.
Texas A&M — 7.5
The over is the smart play here even though the Aggies finish the season at Georgia and at LSU. This team could definitely be 8-2 entering the final two weeks with losses at Clemson and at home versus Alabama. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last five years, it’s that Jimbo Fisher can never be counted out.
Vanderbilt — 5
You just have to take the under here. It’s Vanderbilt. The history of college football in Nashville only suggests pain and disappointment mixed with laughably sub par results.