If you’ve started to think the goal of this weekly post is to get you to say, “Well, he really did focus on something more dumb than last week”, I say to you, “You are correct.” In my defense, it’s July and Rich Rodriguez has not been riding a scooter with his dog in front of someone who is willing to video said ROLLIN’ session. A more selfish pair of acts I cannot recall.
That means we’re left with what you’re about to read or stop reading. The Ole Miss football Twitter dot com account recently released the uniform numbers of incoming freshmen players.
Since this website has already fired off its takes on which freshmen could contribute the most in the third year of Matt Luke’s first year as head coach, I am forced to turn the temperature of the takes even hotter.
That brings us to the first ever (and pls pls pls pls pls only) incoming freshmen uniform number power rankings. PUT THE BURNERS ON HIGH AND LET THE NATURAL GAS FLAME ROAR A BRIGHT BLUE.
(1) Jeremy James, OL
Let us hope that one day he follows in the footsteps of King Tunsil and, upon return from a seven-game suspension due to crootin’ regularities and loaner cars (it means we’ll be good again!), he tells his offensive coordinator that he “don’t want no chip” when facing a future NFL number one draft pick.
And then he goes out and shows that, indeed, a chip was not necessary.
(2) Caleb Warren, OL
(2) Patrick Lucas, NT
I am very much here for two 300-pound-ish linemen making the 54 as wide as it is tall. And you better believe they’re going to give the people the belly tease they want.
(4) Brandon Mack, OLB
Unintentional that his number is also ranked fourth, but I am always on Team Single-Digit Uniform Number for a Linebacker. Other great Mack-named linebackers of note:
(5) LeDarrius Cox, DE
On a similar note, single-digit jersey numbers for defensive linemen get the highly coveted Gray Stamp of Approval. Other members of the single-digit defensive lineman brotherhood include Fadol Brown (6), Robert Nkemdiche (5), Breeland Speaks (9), and Wayne Dorsey (7).
Somewhat related, I just remembered the time Hugh Freeze decided Nkemdiche needed to be involved in short-yardage plays on offense, which reminded me that he took the best player on the field (Chad Kelly) off the field and replaced him with Jeremy Liggins. I am now triggered.
(6) John Rhys Plumlee, QB
Speaking of SWAG, the inheritor of his jersey makes an appearance. Let us not forget, as if this is possible, the number also once belonged to Eli Manning, a quarterback who went on to a marginal degree of success and fame.
Because of the two quarterbacks who previously wore this number (sorry, Vince Sanders), Plumlee’s name, which gets shortened to JRP on various corners of the internet, is now JERPS. John Elisha Rhys Plumlee SWAG.
(7) A.J. Finley, DB
Hmmmm, an Ole Miss defensive back wearing number 21. Seems like something interesting happened with a former player who wore the name number.
Nope, definitely not. The NCAA told us this never happened:
So good luck to A.J. Finley in making the first big play ever made by a defensive back wearing number 21.
(8) Jerrion Ealy, RB
Double hmmmmm. Seems like another single-digit-wearing running back at Ole Miss had a play of significance at some point in his career. I’m struggling to remember because the NCAA erased parts of my brain, but this is vaguely familiar.
Apparently, this also happened?
During our stint in NCAA supermax prison, all memories of that were stolen. It looked like a lot of fun though!
(9) Jonathan Mingo, WR
Let us hope he continues the tradition of Ole Miss wide receivers who wear number one, dunk on defensive backs, and make opposing fans diaper-filling mad online and in real life.
(10) Reece McIntyre, OL
Though borrowing Alvin Mack’s number, he’ll win the BuzzFeed “Who Wore It Better” showdown because the lineman belly will allow the 6 to explore the space while being stretched.