Ole Miss Power Rankings put on the cap and gown

Unlike Ole Miss baseball, the power rankings are very much back and ready to let you know who is running things in Oxford. Over the past seven days, we saw good fortune come to Ole Miss softball and the men’s basketball team, while fan excitement around the baseball program has joined football in the “why bother getting out of bed” department.

If you missed last week’s serving of power, you can educate your mind here. If not, or if clicking a link is too much work, let us march on to this week’s rankings.

(1) Graduates

Last weekend was graduation weekend at Ole Miss (shout-out to traffic, crowds, and extended family members wishing they could have their Saturday back), which means there are quite a few people moving on to their next phase of life. If you are one of these people, graduate or undergraduate, congratulations to you.

Per the usual at this time of year, I offer my one pearl of unsolicited wisdom to all new graduates. If things ever feel overwhelming, always remember that none of us have any idea what we’re doing. We’re all making it up as we go.

If someone says they have it all together, they are a liar and will probably ask you at some point if they can borrow money. You already know the answer as to whether you should give them that money.

(2) Ole Miss Softball

Just out here earning the highest national seed in program history, nbd.

Oh, and they’re hosting a regional in Oxford this weekend. You’ve got until Friday to get your mind right, so I suggest starting here to learn more about the teams that they will trash or will be the source of wailing and gnashing of teeth. And if you’re looking for an absolute bargain on postseason collegiate athletics, it’s only $30 for a regional ticket pack, and there’s apparently hundreds available. Support this fantastic, WINNING team.

(3) The Tea Lizard

Taking a break from sippin’ all the tea, Kermit Davis secured the verbal commitment of Khadim Sy, the four-star JUCO prospect who has been the obsession of Ole Miss basketball crootin’ junkies. If you recall, last year’s basketball team had, shall we say, deficiencies in the post.

Sy offers immediate help to the NOT GREAT, BOB problem. Assuming Sy makes it to Oxford, one would feel optimistic (not Ole Miss Blind Optimism™) about Davis’ team making a return to the NCAA Tournament.

(4) Ole Miss Basketball

Celebrating another program that is not infected with apathy.

(5) Ole Miss Basketball Bag Men

Folks, the bag men are at it again. They’ve made people log on, tweet at croots, and be mad on the line about Ole Miss.

OLD MISS. NOT OLE PI$$, BUT OLD MISS. GET IT?

/deified by Mississippi State message board users everywhere

Sorry, Khadim Sy. You are going to prison.

(6) Will Wade

It hasn’t been 24 hours, but the LSU head coach has NOT been caught on tape telling someone that he offered Khadim Sy money. If this holds, it will end his streak of being caught on tape offering a recruit money at 24 recruits.

(7) Cliff Godwin

HEY-OOOOO. Forgive me if I find it completely insane to think that a coach who, in 18 seasons, has five Super Regional appearances and one trip to Omaha is suddenly going to start making those a regular thing.

This is over. EJECT.

8) If Cliff Godwin Says No, Those People

Mike Bianco built Ole Miss baseball into an SEC and national power, and they should build a damn statue of him in front of the stadium. However, given the resources Ole Miss puts into a sport that doesn’t make money, the return on investment has been underwhelming.

Backtracking a bit, the idea that he could put together a run at the end of this season, justifying another year - YEAR 19 - is also insane. God forbid anyone at Ole Miss think long-term thoughts.

(9) Apathy

We’ve covered enough baseball, but I am VERY INTRIGUED by Football Season Ticket Sales 2K19. If I could wager monies on the over/under of Ole Miss football season tickets sold (and I’m sure if I looked hard enough I could find a Serbian gambling site with odds), the under would be cash money in the pocket.

(10) Diplomas

They will eventually be mailed, and you’ll have plans to have yours framed and hung prominently in your home or office. If you manage to follow through with that, good for you.

For the rest of us, its forever home will be a junk drawer in your parents’ house.