We take you behind the curtain at Ole Miss football spring practice

Considering the interest in the basketball team and the baseball season’s shift into a higher gear, it’s easy to forget that Ole Miss football spring practice is a thing that has spanned over a month now on the calendar. In fact, the Grove Bowl takes place this Saturday (it’s true!), meaning spring practice is almost over, which will come as quite the surprise to those who didn’t know it started.

To be fair, Ole Miss didn’t set up the schedule to run its course over two weeks or so, allowing for regular updates. Instead, it chose to practice for a few days, go on spring break (DESTIN 2K19 BABY), come back for a Tuesday practice, hit the field for 17 minutes on a Thursday morning, and clock in another 31 minutes on a Friday afternoon.

On top of that, Ole Miss is now under the direction of two new coordinators, which means there are two new schemes that they would very much like to keep under wraps* until the season opener against Memphis. If Ole Miss had its way, more people would’ve found a way to pay even less attention to a team that’s 16-20 overall (6-18 in the SEC) over the last three seasons.

*Thankfully, there are not hundreds of hours of film on what Rich Rodriguez and Mike MacIntyre, two veteran coaches, like to do.

Despite Ole Miss’ desire to not be noticed, I took notice and am here to give you a recap of all the important spring football content you may have missed. Now, you may say, “Gray, there is no such thing as important spring football content.”

To that I would say, unless we’re trying to see if SWAG Kelly is better than Ryan Buchanan or DeVante Kincade, you are correct. However, thanks to these short videos Ole Miss shot of each practice, we can at least pick through the most important content of the non-important content.

Day 1

Haven’t even run one drill and Matt Luke already has his peak fist-bumping-the-bicep game cooking.

Save some of the good stuff for October, coach!

Day 2

The aforementioned Rich Rodriguez began the process of installing his offensive system with maximum security precautions taken.

It could be Rich Rod, or it could be his stunt double, Rod Richriguez. WHO KNOWS.

Fortunately, the cameras were rolling when the offense ran through one of Rodriguez’s plays. Who knows how it will all work out with the new offensive coordinator, but I am very excited to see what happens when he calls the “WR faces the other direction” play in a game.

Perhaps it will become his Treadwell Pass play muse. Meanwhile, let’s go live to Drake for a quick Yelp review of the Treadwell Pass play:

Before we move on, It’s important to note the aggressive tone set by Rodriguez. If you are a referee or equipment manager who wanders into a play, YOUR ASS IS GETTING PANCAKED.

Either that or the Ole Miss defensive coaches have crossed the “we’re experimenting with a lot of guys” threshold on Day 2. Both scenarios are equally possible.

Day 4

After blowing their pixelation budget on Rodriguez, Ole Miss was forced to get creative to offer defensive coordinator Mike MacIntyre the same security measures. Instead of pixels, they just got a player to stand in front of the camera.

And because they knew that player would eventually stray from his course (LACK OF EYE DISCIPLINE IMO), Ole Miss bought MacIntyre a witness protection program hat from the Houston Nutt Collection.

Pre-Day 5

Ole Miss announced the hiring of Jeff Koonz as its new inside linebackers coach. Wanting to keep what he brings to the table as much of a secret as possible, the press release resembled an NCAA document filled with redactions to keep you from knowing the name of a player who took money from multiple schools.

Spring Break

Day 6

On the defensive side of the ball, color me INTRIGUED over Ole Miss’ plan of playing with linebackers who wear a Cowboy Hat Matt Luke club on their hands.

Day 10

Same.

Day 12

Perhaps the most shocking thing I learned from reviewing minutes upon seconds of footage is that the Grove Bowl is not decided on the field of play through an arbitrary scoring system. No, friends, the fix is in.

The winner of the 2019 Grove Bowl was decided on Day 12 of spring practice through a heated contest of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Prayers sent to those of you who had Alex Givens’ team at -3 in the Grove Bowl.