Back again from the mezzanine labyrinth of the J.D. Williams Library, the Power Rankings are here to establish the record of who and what dominated and destroyed the last week or weeks as it concerns Ole Miss. I say week or weeks because, again, the only consistent rule here is there will be no consistency, which is also the only consistent thing about Ole Miss.
If you missed the inaugural edition of said rankings, as well as what we’re trying to do here, read or skim this to gain some knowledge. Now, on to the rankings that appear to be missing a certain element.
(1) Ole Miss Women’s Golf
Out here rolling into Birmingham and crawling in traffic on 280 before dunking on the rest of the SEC at the Greystone Golf and Country Club on their way to a DAGGUM SEC CHAMPIONSHIP.
SEC Championships, whether regular season or in a conference tournament, at Ole Miss are what some might call rare, which is a fairly liberal interpretation of that word. My point being, the Lady Rebs are about to dominate these rankings.
(2) Macy Somoskey
The format of the tournament called for stroke play before moving into match play to decide the champion. In the finals and last match against South Carolina, the Ole Miss freshman, down a hole on the 18th green, needed to make a mini-golf putt, minus the windmill, castle with the drawbridge, and Tyrannosaurus rex standing in the way, to extend her match.
ADD THE WINDMILL, CASTLE, AND T-REX NEXT TIME TO MAKE IT A CHALLENGE, IMO.
(3) Macy Somoskey’s Putt
I mean, WATCH IT AGAIN.
TFW you know you are doomed.
(4) When it gets real
The first SEC title for the program.
(5) Macy Somoskey’s ability to function
Friends, I played 36 holes of golf over two days this past weekend (OH U FANCY), and I can report that I am the proud owner of at least two new blisters and random stabbing pains. Our walk-on freshman overlord played 62 holes in 30 hours at a high level, going 3-0 in her matches. This may mean she’s officially chancellor now? Sure, why not.
Then, in an amazing feat after that mental and physical grind, she offered coherent sentences to the TV people. Placed in the same situation, I would’ve given the full Ricky Bobby interview.
(6) The Full #Squad
Let us not ignore the work of Conner Beth Ball, Martina Flori, Pi-Lillebi Hermansson, Ellen Hutchinson-Kay, Julia Johnson, Diane Lim, Kie Purdom, and Kennedy Swann. Without them, none of this happens.
Congratulations to all of you.
(7) Kory Henkes
(7) Zack Byrd
Someone has to lead, otherwise there would be chaos. Given your recent success, a pro tip based on watching another successful Ole Miss coach: never tweet and never direct someone to firstname.lastname@example.org.
(9) Ole Miss Softball
Will they ever lose another SEC series? All signs point to not in the next 12 lifetimes. Give or take.
RECAP | An outstanding outing from Brittany Finney and a clutch hit from Autumn Gillespie propelled Ole Miss to victory in Saturday's rubber match with MSU!— Ole Miss Softball (@OleMissSoftball) April 20, 2019
https://t.co/c1KUDPoSxC#CARE #HottyToddy pic.twitter.com/J47ncv4gNc
Related, I am enjoying Ole Miss’ pivot from being a football school to winning in sports we can actually win. What is even more enjoyable is softball winning by a score usually reserved for football in a 21-0 rout of Mississippi State in this series win, setting a school record for runs, hits, walks, domination, humiliation, probably a lot of other things too.
(10) Robyn Tannehill
The Oxford mayor is out in the streets doing the Lord’s work, trying to get a Waffle House to set up shop in town.
More importantly, it appears Waffle House is ready to listen to the gospel of Oxford.
The haters will say wHAt’S tHe BiG dEaL iT’s JuSt WafFLeS. To that I say, enjoy your Huddle House and the chains that bind you to unfulfilling things.
As Mayor Tannehill knows, the truth shall set you free.