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8 things you have to forget now that the NCAA says Ole Miss didn’t beat Alabama in 2014

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The Rebels have vacated 33 wins over six seasons, including the legendary Bama upset. This should be taken very, very seriously.

Alabama v Mississippi
THIS NEVER HAPPENED
Photo by Joe Murphy/Getty Images

Y’know those great memories you have of storming the field and partying on the Square with Katy Perry after Ole Miss beat ‘Bama? No, you probably don’t, because the NCAA says none of that ever happened.

College athletics’ governing body has taken out its big red pen and crossed out 33 Rebel wins over six seasons, the final jab from its years-long investigation into the Ole Miss football program.

The vacated wins stretch from 2010 through 2016, with the notable exception of a 10-win 2015 campaign. Laremy Tunsil’s ineligibility accounts for the 2013 and 2014 seasons, but he was suspended for seven games in 2015 and deemed eligible upon his return that season. So the Sugar Bowl blowout of Oklahoma State stands, though you’ve sadly had to wipe out those glorious wins from Houston Nutt’s last two years.

Via Rebel Grove, here’s the full list of wins that totally didn’t happen.

2010: Tulane, Fresno State, Kentucky, ULL

2011: Southern Illinois, Fresno State

2012: Central Arkansas, UTEP, Auburn, Tulane, Arkansas, Mississippi State, Pittsburgh

2013: Vanderbilt, Southeast Missouri, LSU, Texas, Idaho, Arkansas, Troy

2014: Boise State, Vanderbilt, ULL, Memphis, Alabama, Texas A&M, Mississippi State, Tennessee

2016: Wofford, Georgia, Memphis, Georgia Southern, Texas A&M

Some may attempt to trivialize these very, very serious sanctions. Some, like Ole Miss AD Ross Bjork, may say that “in a way it’s just a piece of paper because you saw those games.”

But we at Red Cup Rebellion recognize the NCAA’s authority to revise history and have accordingly struck all traces of these alleged wins from our memories, beginning with the Rebels’ October 4, 2014 victory over Alabama.

We ask that you, reader, do the same.

Katy Perry did not steal Lee Corso’s headgear and chuck corndogs at the GameDay cameras.

She also did not crowd surf at Funky’s later that night.

Jaylen Walton did not catch an incredible third-and-goal TD to give Ole Miss a lead with less than three minutes to play.

Senquez Golson did not seal the win with an interception in the back of Bama’s end zone.

This mad IRL Bama fan did not get clotheslined by a cop.

Ole Miss fans did not storm the field and tear down the goal posts.

Those goal posts were not subsequently given a tour of Oxford.

Ole Miss did not record a legendary 23-17 win over Alabama because the NCAA says it didn’t.

But we still got the damn goal posts.

bama