Ole Miss Power Rankings: Running Out The Clock Edition

For the second straight year with Ole Miss football, we’ve reached “what’s the point of all of this” status. It’s like a comforting embrace from a loved one, minus the comfort and adding heavy doses of apathy and whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Ole Miss football, for lack of me taking the time to come up with a poetic phrase, is not enjoyable, interesting, or inspiring right now. It’s a miserable exercise set on repeat, with no signs anyone in a position of leadership will have the courage or something other than a small-time mindset to break this cycle.

In less than a month, the 2019 season will mercifully be over. More than likely, Ole Miss will finish 4-8, unless Mississippi State finds a way to give Matt Luke-backers ammunition in touting a mighty 5-7 record in Year Three of his first year.

The end of November presents a chance to inject life and interest in Ole Miss football by hammering the reset button. Unfortunately, that decision lies with either a corrupt chancellor who is still too afraid to show up in public, or the Good Ol’ Boys who tell that empty suit chancellor when it’s time to tie his shoes and what to do about the football program.

So prepare yourselves for Year Four of Matt Luke’s first year!

(1) Party Deck Catering Tents

These beauties should be able to provide shade to 50 percent of the fans in attendance for the New Mexico State game on Saturday. The shade will also take the glare off their phones as they watch LSU/Alabama instead of whatever Ole Miss is doing on the field.

I am very much here for a Guess The Attendance Game (not announced attendance, but psychopaths who are sitting in seats). Put me down for 22,351.

(2) Attendance

(2) Money

If you’re ready for this garbage to end and open the door for something different or perhaps a different smelling garbage (given who could be doing the hiring), it’s frustrating because it’s an exercise in sitting and waiting, which is THE WORST. However, we have control over two things: whether we go to games and give money to the school.

When we stop doing those things, we help cut off the oxygen for a football program and an athletic department. They want and have to have our money to survive. If enough of that gets taken away, change becomes necessary for survival.

(4) Ole Miss Men’s Basketball

Kermit Davis and company opened Year Two of his second year with a #NICE exhibition win. The serious business starts on Friday night, so if you’ve forgotten what a competently coached team looks like, make your way to the Pavilion.

(5) Halloween Costume Contests

Congratulations to Tony for collecting a Halloween EGOT.

(6) Future Ideas Involving Tony

I’d like to see one of these during an Ole Miss game, but instead of Tony breathing fire, he’s holding Colonel Rebel’s big, dumb racist severed head in his mouth.

(7) Mike MacIntyre

It’s amazing what can happen when you turn your defense over to an accomplished, non-career position coach. Maybe apply that line of thinking to the head coaching job as well? Just a thought!

The Ole Miss defense is not a good defense, but HOLY SMOKES, what a treat it is to watch a defense that knows what’s going on and only gets beat because the opposing offense is better.

(8) Quarterback Rotation That’s Not A Rotation

As much as I love watching our fleet-footed son, John Rhys Plumlee, run fast, he’s not a viable option at quarterback against legitimate teams, unless Ole Miss commits to the triple option (NOT THE WORST IDEA). Since the season is over, would you not like to find out what you have in Matt Corral, especially if the idiots in charge are bringing you back for Year Four of Year One?

Here’s what we know about Corral:

• Very bad against Memphis (though his offensive line was MISERABLE)
• Pretty good against Arkansas
• Fine against SELA
• Not great but not terrible against Cal prior to his injury
• Had moments against Missouri in split time
• Not great in split time against Texas A&M
• Not great in his blip appearance against Auburn

It’s entirely possible he’s not good, but his sample size as the guy running the show is limited. Maybe, just maybe, you’d want to see if he’s someone you want to convince to not transfer. I know, crazy!

(9) Film of Christian McCaffrey

Show it to John Rhys Plumlee, who has similar size, and tell him with his absurd speed and excellent vision, this could be his film.

A switch to receiver has been suggested, but I don’t think that’s his calling. He’s such a gifted runner that it seems like the position would come naturally to him, as opposed to learning the intricacies of something unfamiliar.

(10) Matt Luke Meme