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Ole Miss Power Rankings: The Good Ol’ Boys Strike Again Edition

The Landshark Leaderboard can’t wait to see what other grossly unqualified people get hired because they’re somebody’s brother-in-law or fraternity brother.

NCAA Football: Mississippi State at Mississippi Matt Bush-USA TODAY Sports

Temporarily interrupting the story of Ole Miss’ new chancellor outright lying to and deceiving people on his way to stealing at least $87,000 and earning himself a job for which his only qualification is he’s a good ol’ boy, Matt Luke and squad once again dominated a bad team on Saturday.

While it appears to be a sign that this team is inching its way out of being not good, don’t let it distract you from the fact that the person running Ole Miss said, with a straight face, that he hasn’t done a lot of research in his career because he was “too busy leading in my life”. A fairly loose interpretation of “backslapping with the good ol’ boys”.

If you’ve ever interviewed someone or sat in on an interview and the candidate dropped a line like that when asked about a hole in their resumé, it takes all of your willpower to not snort-laugh. Then you spend the rest of the interview on autopilot, waiting until it’s the right time to say, “Thanks for coming in today.”

What happened last week was outrageous but enough about Jerrion Ealy only getting four touches against Vanderbilt. HEYOOOOOOOOOO.

/dives into an empty well

(1) Party Deck Catering Tents

THEY’RE BACK AND UNDEFEATED AT HOME IN SEC PLAY.

When Texas A&M comes to Oxford in two weeks and wins by two touchdowns, the tents are still gonna be number one because — pushes up advanced stats glasses on nose — prior to mid-October, they’re undefeated in SEC play in temperatures above 90 degrees, with strong relative humidity and moderate pollen count, and during Matt Luke shacket szn.

(2) Ole Miss Students

Screaming for the people who couldn’t be there to scream at these out-of-touch, self-serving turds.

And I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge their mastery of the English language. There are a lot of words in the dictionary that could’ve been used to best describe what happened last week, but they only needed one for an editorial headline.

(3) Recluses

Going on four days since our bold, innovative, scheming chancellor was hired, there have been no efforts to introduce his deceiving ass to the Ole Miss community. It’s almost as if they know he’s hilariously unpopular and don’t care!

That’s the thing about the good ol’ boy network: they don’t care about anything outside of their world. Students, faculty, and the majority of alumni do not matter. If they cared what these groups wanted, they would not have hired who they hired.

What’s best for Ole Miss is a thought that never enters their minds. Taking care of their own and making sure they’re in power is all that matters.

On some level, they do care about Ole Miss, but that care is subservient to what benefits them and their peers. Their approach is “well, we love Ole Miss, want to run the show, and hope good things happen, but we ain’t never lost a party y’aaalllllllllll”, instead of using their power, money, and influence to remove chance and make good things happen, even if those things don’t directly benefit them.

They’re expecting that people’s love of Ole Miss will allow them to get away with this. The thought being that people will say (some are already doing this), “I didn’t like what happened, but now we need to support the chancellor because that’s what’s best for Ole Miss.” Ah yes, blindly follow the fine individuals who use people’s genuine love against them all in the name of having power.

Until the good ol’ boys stop serving the good ol’ boys, they deserve zero support, both financial and political, because they’re going to use that support to benefit themselves.

(4) Explosive Running Plays

Shifting gears to avoid SIR, THIS IS AN ARBY’S, our run the dang ball sons did just that. John Rhys Plumlee and friends hit nine explosive runs for 347 yards (LOL 38.6 yards/carry).

While explosive runs are five out of five stars, Ole Miss doesn’t hit them at a high rate, which is why the offense gets bogged down for extended periods. On the other 35 rushing attempts, just 66 yards were gained. Very much NOT GREAT, BOB.

Whether Matt Corral comes back or Rich Rodriguez can figure out a way to make Plumlee more effective in the passing game, Ole Miss needs another element to the offense to make it stop relying so heavily on explosive run plays.

(5) John Rhys Plumlee

(5) Ben Brown

Our 4.40 40-yard dash-running son and large thigh son are out here collecting recognition for TCB’n against Vanderbilt. My favorite part about the Ben Brown tweet, other than his smile as he waits to smash into someone, is that four of the replies are about kickoff times for October 19th.

(7) Corruption

Just as a reminder, not only was the chancellor search corrupt, here’s how little they cared about hiding the corruption.

After several candidates – including Texas Wesleyan President Fred Slabach, Eastern Kentucky University President Michael Benson, Auburn University Provost Bill Hardgrave, Oxford attorney Cal Mayo and Jackson businessman Jim Barksdale – were interviewed on Wednesday and Thursday, the IHL board voted to grant Boyce an interview. Shortly after the interview ended, a motion was made to appoint Boyce chancellor.

They gave him a last-second interview, which was no doubt just a hearty backslapping session, and then said immediately this is our guy. Again, these people are so arrogant that they think we’re all stupid enough to go along with this.

If you haven’t read Chase Parham and Neal McCready’s piece on RebelGrove about how this fix was in since potentially last November, do so now. There was never going to be a legitimate search. It was all an effort in buying time until the good ol’ boys could name their guy.

But sure, they love Ole Miss and deserve our support.

(8) Matt Corral’s rib(s)

Not to repeat myself from last week, but HEAL SOON. OUR EYE-BLACK SMEARING, FIGHTING-AN-ENTIRE-DEFENSE SON IS NEEDED THIS WEEK.

(9) Story Telling

Our tone-deaf, fee-stealing chancellor wants to get back in the story-telling business:

I think it’s incredibly important that we tell who we are today, and we are an amazing diversity that I think has a great story every day, and I think we’re building on that story every day. However, I’m not sure people know what that narrative is or what that story is.

Aside from what does that mean, telling our story worked out so well the last time we tried that!

He concluded that statement, which was part of an answer to a question about division at Ole Miss, with words that sounded like they were stolen from our brain-wormed president when he’s attempting to talk about something he has never heard of in his entire life:

One of the efforts I’m going to have as chancellor is to try to build the communication between the constituent bases to a level it’s never seen before. That’s how you unify people. That’s what’s got to be done.

The communication between constituent bases is a disgrace. A total disgrace. But we’re gonna make it so much better and so great. Perhaps greater than ever before. It’s gonna be big and finally we’ll be respected.

(10) Sprint Draw

It helps when the unblocked defensive end/linebacker sells out for our fleet-footed son at quarterback, and the safety is very bad at making tackles, but it’s the first time we’ve run this play all year and my ledgers tell me it’s FOR SIX.

(11) Ken Burns’ Country Music Documentary

BONUS RANKING AHOY. Watch, learn, and make your life better.

We know Dolly was the queen of all, but I had not heard her version of this old song until watching the documentary. Her voice, per the usual, is absurd in this.