College football 2018 Week 2 viewing guide: Weirdness abounds!

College football’s 2018 campaign kicked off with bangs all over the country. Auburn and Washington laid waste to Atlanta, with strong assists from DragonCon and the Shutdown Fullcast’s live taping being hosted in the same city. Stanford, LSU, Virginia Tech, West Virginia, and Notre Dame all handled their Week 1 business in professional fashion, and now this or that program jets off to play this or that large- or small-scale side in Week 2.

No. 1 Alabama is playing Arkansas State in Tuscaloosa, for instance, which may be a little interesting for about 20 minutes. Outside of that hot action in west-central Alabama, there are a host of match-ups in Week 2 that will certainly resonate out for weeks across this college football season.

As ever, our watchability metrics are geared toward: 1) the general college football fan, and 2) the Ole Miss fan who can conspiracy-theory their way into the Landsharks being snubbed from the College Football Playoff, if not for that pesky postseason ban.

Let’s do this.

FIRDAY, SEPTEMBER 7

No. 16 TCU at SMU

7 p.m. CT on ESPN2 and WatchESPN

TCU might have some smack in them this year, just like every other year. SMU is a perennial CHAOS TEAM, and so this showdown in Dallas (Forth Worth?) should prove hilariously perfect for your Friday night release. TAKE THE OVER.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 8 (EARLY GAMES)

UCLA at No. 6 Oklahoma

Noon CT on Fox and FoxSportsGo

Ole Mis traveled from right to left and lost in spectacular fashion to Cal a year Ago. This year, UCLA comes left to right for a mean one in Norman. The Sooners appear to have slowed none at all since last season with a new quarterback, but let us firmly remind you: UCLA has a new coach named Chip Kelly. There’s nothing to say more about this little ditty.

No. 3 Georgia at No. 24 South Carolina

2:30 p.m. CT on CBS and CBS Sports

Even Georgia fans don’t know about this one. Last year’s wild success was a sharp up-tick in thinking among the Bulldog Club orbit, and anything approaching 2017’s CFP run and dramatic failure will probably register as equal to or greater than a success. Still, South Carolina is waspy, Muschamp-y, and shit-for-brains mad. There’s a more than zero chance that Cocky rips off an ugly win at home this weekend. Either way, it’s going to be very, very stupid.

EVENING GAME (NOTE THE SINGULAR)

Youngstown State at West Virginia

5:30 p.m. CT on ATSN

Mountaineers fresh off a good old fashioned ass kicking of Tennessee? A perennial FCS heavyweight against some weird-ass Big 12 football? SNAP THE DANG ROCK.

NIGHT GAMES (DOES NOT INCLUDE THE #PAC12AFTERDARK, THEY ARE A DIFFERENT SUBHEADING)

No. 2 Clemson at Texas A&M

6 p.m. CT on ESPN and WatchESPN

All hell will break loose in this one, and it’ll probably happen on the opening kickoff. We don’t even need to know or predict who kicks first — something wild will happen on this opening play. PICK THE AGGIES TO COVER.

No. 17 USC at No. 16 Stanford

7:30 p.m. CT on Fox and FoxSportsGo

The Pac-12 needs a representative in the College Football Playoff final four, and either of these teams could whip that off. Take the under, because Stanford is gonna win. The Cardinal will fail hard in like Week 8, though, and we won’t have a Pac-12 representative in the College Football Playoff.

PAC-12 AFTER DARK

No. 15 Michigan State at Arizona State

9:45 p.m. CT on ESPN and WatchESPN

Do you like insane football? Did you know that Herm Edwards is Arizona State’s new head coach? Did you know that Herm Edwards has not coached football players since the George W. Bush administration? Did you also know that Herm Edwards’ Sun Devils annihilated UTSA, 49-7, last Saturday?

The Michigan State Spartans shaved off a narrow victory against Utah State last weekend — in East Lansing, no less — and so this trip out to Phoenix may prove EXTREMELY HAZARDOUS. GO DEVILS.

Rice at Hawaii

11 p.m. CT on SPEC (whatever that is)

Hawaii has a clear path to an undefeated season. Let’s hope they do it. Go ‘Bows.