Last Saturday, Alabama faced its stiffest competition of the young 2018 season: a nationally ranked Texas A&M team that came just one play away from beating No. 3 Clemson back in the previous weekend. The Tide won by 22 dang points.
The week before, Bama obliterated Ole Miss, 62-7. The week before that, it was a 57-7 beatdown of Arkansas State. The week before that, a 51-14 humiliation of Louisville.
Watching Nick Saban’s death machine methodically churn your favorite college football team into dust can be an embarrassing, traumatizing process. That’s why we’ve partnered with our friends at Good Bull Hunting, SB Nation’s Texas A&M site, to form the Official Support Group for Fans Whose Teams Have Been Blown the Hell Out by Bama.
All of these discussions are carried out with the deepest respect for the Tide, mind.
Let’s introduce our primary interlocutor, GBH managing editor Rush Roberts, who respects the Tide utterly and would never utter a word untoward at Saban’s majestic shop.
Take it away, Good Bull Hunting.
Hi, my name is Good Bull Hunting, and my team lost to Alabama by 22 points. [melancholy shuffling and murmuring of acknowledgment]
Uh, I guess I’d like to thank Jim and Red Cup for inviting me. His empathetic words in the wake of Saturday’s shellacking were of great comfort to us.
What happened? Who can really say? I guess the same thing that always happens. It started off somewhat positive, all things considered. We traded touchdowns with them, even after an early turnover. Then we matched touchdowns with field goals. Somehow, we were still conceivably in the game (just) well into the third quarter.
Then #BAMA18 happened. Things got out of hand. I really don’t like to dwell on it too much, even 48+ hours later. Let’s just say that covering the spread never felt so good.
It’s difficult to overstate how all-consuming the immensity of a defeat by Alabama is this year.
Every year, really, but this year’s team has some kind of mystical aura about it that makes it seem even more indomitable than other Alabama teams. You halfway stop the run, and the QB starts slinging precision lawn darts through tiny gaps off his back foot. You consistently flip the field in the punting game, and they effortlessly rumble 92 yards in two plays. It leaves you breathless with the crushing weight of shattered optimism on your shoulders. How will we make it through the week, let alone eight more games?
So anyway, while it’s not nice to be here, it is comforting to not be here alone. Looking forward to hearing from you, Card Chronicle, and you, Underdog Dynasty. And welcoming plenty more friends along the way.
Why are Ole Miss and Texas A&M blogs bringing us this feature every week?
Because we’re the best blogs in the SB Nation orbit. And because both teams perennially can and cannot beat Alabama. They both have overcome the Tide in recent memory, and they both have fallen hard as hell to the Tide in 2018.
Commiserate with us. There’s a case of High Life AND Shiner in the fridge and all the Jack you wanna drink above the sink. Welcome to the Bama Basement.