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Dr. Avocado Toast: Or how I stopped worrying and love the millennials

As told by a millennial elder.

By Juco All-American

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Last week’s game sent me into hibernation for a good chunk of this week, and I wasn’t sure how I’d recover. Like, how could Matt Luke and his staff not get any grief for the state of this program, given that they were pretty much all here while the talent dissipated and everything was ruined? HOW COULD THEY — Ok. Ok. Breathe.

Anyway, one morning this week I was shuttered in emotional darkness and happened to wake up early. How was I going to somehow recuperate given that this weekend’s game against Kent State means absolutely nothing? I couldn’t just be wrecked for two weeks. So I made breakfast. More specifically I made the food that is keeping millennials from eating at Applebee’s or buying homes: avocado toast. And everything was a little better.

The picture at the top of this isn’t exactly what I ate, but it’s close. I added a fried egg and some ancho y morita sauce I had on hand, but those aren’t essential. It’s a pretty basic recipe, but there is some nuance.

Ingredients

1 Ciabatta roll, halved

4-5 strips of bacon

1 medium avocado

Juice of 1⁄2 lime

A little cilantro

2 eggs

Salt and pepper to taste

Any other seasoning you have on hand (namely something to add a little spice)

How you make it

  1. Prepare! Cut the ciabatta roll if you haven’t already. Cut the avocado up, and add salt, pepper, cilantro, and lime juice. Mash it a bit, but be sure there are still good chunks left in it. You’re not making guacamole-paste toast.
  2. Cook the bacon in a pan first on medium to medium-high heat. I’m not going to tell you how to cook bacon ... just remember to take it out of the pan just before it looks done. It’s going to keep cooking because it’s covered in bubbly fat and oil. The bacon in the picture here is actually slightly overcooked, so don’t try to emulate it.
  3. Don’t dispose of the bacon fat like some dummy. Pour it into a ceramic (or something else of substance). That’s the key to flavortown.
  4. Fry the eggs in a small portion of the bacon fat. Salt and pepper the eggs while they’re cooking, not after.
  5. While the eggs are cooking (shouldn’t take long) brush the bacon fat onto the ciabatta roll halves. Don’t go overboard, but don’t be delicate either.
  6. Remove the eggs carefully and put them on a plate you’ll store in the microwave just to keep them sorta warm.
  7. Turn the heat up, and once it has warmed up, add the ciabatta buns so that the outside crisps up. Remove them when they’re crisp on the outside but still slightly squishy.
  8. Put everything together and serve.