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Ole Miss baseball’s Thomas Dillard mutilated another baseball last night

Tank and his mustache power are evolving.

By Zach Berry
Zach Berry-Ezgif

Despite losing in devastating fashion to Mississippi State in Pearl, Miss. last night in a non-conference game on a Tuesday, our large-thighed son and mustachioed superhero Thomas Dillard hit himself another ticker tape tater.

And I mean this thing was rocketed out of Trustmark Park via jet fuel. Like, Tank built a counterweight trebuchet at home plate, caught the fastball delivered by Mississippi State’s Denver McQuary (lol), loaded it into the sling, released the potential energy that had been built-up with a heavy box filled with assorted meats and bourbon, and let it fly.

I mean, this is just getting silly. ESPN’s Dari Nowkhah couldn’t even believe it.

On impact, the ball was thought to have exploded by most in attendance. The camera crew seemed to have no idea where it went and just pointed the camera in its general direction. The funniest part is that the rightfielder for State even moved. Like, bruh, you better go-go gadget some fucking stilts or a cherry-picker because you ain’t getting it, fam.

For God’s sake, he hit it off the restaurant in right field (predicted by new writer Ben Woodhouse, mind you).

Our sweet, handsome boy who never, EVER skips leg day is now the proud owner and the team leader in home runs (9), runs batted in (44), and slugging (.589). His .318 average is good for third on the team and lest we forget his wheels on the bases (11 stolen bases) which also leads the team.

Sure, the Rebs lost a midweek game and didn’t get to take home a silver cup that was probably donated by one of the school’s Sigma Chi chapters, but the real win was watching Dillard pimp the shit out of yet another dinger that was well on its way to Brandon to do some improvements if not for that daggum restaurant signage.

If Thomas keeps this up, the Rebels will be scoring runs, per usual, at an alarming rate as we make our way to the end of the regular season. And with the rest of the squad hitting .301 collectively, this just gives our boy more opportunities for RBI’s and multi-run dingers like he hit last night.