It’s Masters week.
It’s time for golf at Augusta National Golf Club. Jim Nance. The ambiance. Azaleas in bloom. Cheap concessions. Tiger is BACK.
There’s just something about the exclusivity, the pastels, the adherence to tradition and the importance of food that make this event not only the greatest event in golf for yaboi OMTB — but it is inherently Ole Miss. For who can forget Ole Miss alum Cary Middlecoff of Memphis, Tenn. winning the 1955 Masters and finishing second on two other occasions (1948 and 1959)?! Jeez, you guys, read some history books.
I’d be wearing that green jacket to the Grove every daggum week, and you wouldn’t be able to tell me nothing. It’s the pinnacle of a golfer’s career to win the Masters, and most importantly because you get to host the Champions Dinner or the Masters Club Dinner.
In case you’re unaware, the Champions Dinner is an annual tradition begun around 1952 where the previous year’s champ hosts all of the previous Masters winners for dinner before tournament play begins.
Originally, these gents would dine on typical country club fare, though the champ would pick the meal. But more recently, champions have taken this opportunity to show off their developed palettes or pay homage to their native country.
This year, Sergio Garcia is planning a Spanish-themed meal, according to reports. It’s a pretty well-guarded secret, like many of the exclusive traditions of the tournament.
But champs in the past have gone outside the box — Tiger famously had cheeseburgers and milkshakes for his first win in his early 20s (power move). Bernhard Langer chose wiener schnitzel in 1986, Sandy Lyle brought in haggis in 1989, and Trevor Immelman picked South African bobotie in 2009. It’s really a great chance to make your opponents eat some weird shit they’d otherwise never touch or have them go WAY outside their pro athlete diet.
In that vein, we compiled our writers’ picks for their own Masters dinners. None of these people will ever win the Masters unless it’s on an Xbox.
RCR staff’s picks for Masters dinner:
Zach “Zack” Berry — “Memphis BBQ, baked beans, slaw, BBQ spaghetti, bread, other BBQ fixins for the main course. Pecan pie, chocolate pie and banana pudding for dessert. Stella Artois for beverage.” And on the side, a dialysis and cardiology appointment for the older champions.
Juco All-American — “$1.50 egg salad sandwiches.” Budget friendly and methane positive. A locker room smell like no other ...
Michael “Bork” Borkey — “A low-country boil.” I think this is like shrimp and corn and stuff, maybe like a fancier crawfish boil? Would be really well received most likely.
OMTB — “Tamales smothered with chili and cheese for an appetizer. New York strip steak Oscar-style with asparagus, crabmeat and Bearnaise sauce. Chocolate cake with Bailey’s and coffee for dessert. Bud Light and Budweiser only.” I just realized after reading this I am approximately 62 years old.
Jim “J-Lo” Lohmar — “An entire smoked hog, green beans and grilled corn on the cob.” Nothing like a pig pickin’ to class up the joint.
Smeargle — “Kroger cocktail shrimp platter, sour gummi worms and Pokemon themed cupcakes.” ‘WTH is this?’ — everyone at the Masters dinner.
So there you have it. Southern staples and heavy food to really slow down the competition — a low key savage move from the boys at RCR.
Comment below with your picks on how you’d ravage the competition with some off-key dinner choices or impress them with some fancy accouterments.