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Almost Oxford: Velvet Cream is Mississippi as hell

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Desoto County has a gem that you must try.

Table Cobbleson-Red Cup Rebellion

Welcome back to Almost Oxford, the series about bars, restaurants, and road stops that... I mean, you get it. This week I chose to highlight a burger place I mentioned in a piece about casual dining that Oxford could use.

Velvet Cream has been serving burgers in Hernando Mississippi since 1947. I’ve never had any reason to go to Hernando, but Velvet Cream is one of those right off the highway places you can hit traveling between Oxford and Memphis. The first thing that stands out about Velvet Cream is the size of the menu. The only thing bigger than the menu is the giant ass cup that looks like it was created just to one up Sonic.

Absolute Unit

Besides every flavor of ice cream in existence, they also have any and every weird artery clogger you’ve ever wanted on your cheeseburger. Pizza burgers, donut burgers, funnel cake burgers, fried chicken burgers, memphis bbq burgers... If it can kill you, you can get on your burger. This is just the top of the menu. When you get into the deep cuts you find deep fried green beans, molasses milkshakes, and Moon Pie cobbler, which is the most Mississippi thing i’ve ever seen. At this point of late stage capitalism lets just put a damn Moon Pie™ Cobbler on the state flag.

Lets talk quality. If you want a plain ass cheeseburger you can find one just as good somewhere else for a lot cheaper. If you want a jalapeno popper pepper jack cheeseburger with “bloomin’ onion sauce” and shoe string fries (you do) its certainly worth a paying a little extra. Oh, and the ice cream was certainly above average.

I forgot to take a picture before I started eating it

My only negative about Velvet Cream is that the $10 t-shirts were uncomfortably sexual.

Please don’t

Anyway, Velvet Cream is worth checking out if you’re in the area. I’m definitely going back to explore more of the menu. If you’ve been to Velvet Cream share your menu recommendations in the comments.

The state of Mississippi legally considers funnel cake a vegetable

Edit: Turns out calling it “Velvet Cream” means I’m a cop. All the cool kids call it “The Dip”. Sorry for the confusion.