Red Cup Rebellion is a golf blog now … at least it will be for the duration this spring as writer-crawlt-out-of-whatever-rock-he-was-under Bunkie Perkins loops for the Ole Miss Golf Team during their Spring 2018 season. This feature series will preview the tournaments, courses, Ole Miss golfers, and field each week, but more in-damn-portantly, this feature will chronicle the exploits of Ole Miss’ REIGNING, DEFENDING, NCDOUBLEA INDIVIDUAL LARGE ADULT GOLFING CHAMPION AND BY GAWD NUMBER ONE COLLEGE GOLFER IN THE SEVEN KINGDOMS ... BRADEN THORNBERRY, FROM CLUBHOUSE OXFORD, FIRST OF HIS NAME, KING OF THE 19th HOLE AND THE FIRST TEE, MAKER OF BIRDIES, THE BREAKER OF PARS, THE RULER AND PROTECTOR OF AN EXPEDITED PACE OF PLAY … LONG MAY HE DRIVE.
The last time we saw our heroes
A third place finish for the team at the All-American Intercollegiate at Golf Club of Houston in Humble, Texas behind No. 3 Baylor and No. 8 Auburn. The team score of 841 ranks as the 7th lowest all time in Rebel golf history, which seems pretty good. Individually, THE ONE AND ONLY BRADEN THORNBERRY picked up where he left off in 2017 with an overall 2nd place finish in the tournament. THE EVER GRACIOUS FOR ALLOWING SOMEONE ELSE TO WIN LORD THORNBERRY finished at -13, with a total of 203, which is the third-lowest individual score ever in Ole Miss Golf history. That also seems pretty good, but we’re not ones to parse details like scores and stats.
CONAN THE THORNBERRIAN got an ample amount of help from his teammates as well. Junior Josh Seiple finished the week at -6, a week that included two career low rounds of 67 and 66. Seiple finished 11th overall in Houston, an impressive feather in the cap. The team’s overall score was also bolstered by senior Kerry Sweeny and Sophomore Chip Getz, who both carded -2 scores for the week, registering T-28th finishes. MOVING FURNITURE, BOYS.
Current Golfweek Rankings: Team: 39th overall; Individual high mark: BRADEN BY GOD THORNBERRY 14th. THAT SEEMS LOW, IMO.
This Week’s Tournament
SPRING BREAK BABY!!!! The Cabo Collegiate at Querencia — San José del Cabo, B.C.S., Mexico.
The Course: Querencia –- The course is universally ranked as one of the best courses in all of Mexico. The course was designed by legendary course architect Tom Fazio. Fazio in Spanish loosely translates to “watch me bulldoze the shit out of this property and make all the holes kind of look alike.” The par-72 stretch checks in at a little over 7,000 yards from the tournament tees.
The Ole Miss Team
EL JEFE BRADEN THORNBERRY (Jr, Olive Branch, MS): Finished 2nd in the All-American Intercollegiate with a final score of -13, including a -7 (65) on the tournament’s final day. His total score of 203 tied for the third-lowest tournament score in Ole Miss Golf history (ahem, again, that seems kinda good). The result moved him from 19 to 14 in this week’s GolfWeek Individual rankings. Was also named to the Fred Hanskins Award Watch list, an award presented to the year’s most outstanding collegiate golfer. He just happened to win that award last year, so PROFESSOR THORNBERRY, PHD is looking for bookends for his study this year. TWO IN A ROW, MY DUDE.
Josh Seiple (RS Jr., Castle Rock, CO): Went the hell off at the All-American Intercollegiate, placing in a tie for 11th at -6, which included dropping a personal best round of a six-under 66 in the final round.
Kerry Sweeney (Sr., Melbourne, FL): Fired a two-under in the first round of the All-American Intercollegiate and finished in a tie for 28th place.
Chip Getz (So., Paradise Valley, AZ): Also finished in 28th place at the All-American Intercollegiate. Led the entire field in Par 4 scoring average with a 3.73. How one does that is anyone’s guess, but it seems extremely difficult to do. Gained enormous amounts of favoritism by following me on Twitter this week. Is still a golfer named Chip, which is a verb.
Cecil Wegener (Fr., Ridgeland, MS): See what happens when RCR becomes a golf blog? The awards immediately start to roll in. Wegener earned SEC Freshmen of the Week honors after he finished in 71st place in the All-American intercollegiate and helped the team finish in 3rd place. GOLF BLOG REBELLION.
An absolutely stacked field this week. No. 1 Oklahoma State, No. 2 Vandy, No. 20 Arkansas, Houston, No. 26 Florida State, No. 16 Texas, No. 29 South Florida, No. 13 Stanford, No. 5 Baylor, No. 15 Wake Forest, Georgia, No. 12 Cal, No. 44 Duke, Rice, and No. 30 Arizona State. Yikes.
Top individuals who are playing for second behind SEŃOR THORNBERRY include: No. 5 Zach Bauchou — OkSt., No. 7 Will Gordon — Vandy, No. 9 Collin Morikawa –- Cal, No. 10 Dough Ghim — Texas, No. 11 Garrett May — Baylor, No. 15 Austin Eckroat — OkSt., No. 16 Brandon Wu — Stanford, No. 19 Harry Ellis- FlSt., Matthew Wolff — OkSt., No. 21 Theo Humphrey — Vand ... you get the idea: a whole bunch of damn good players who will be sad to go home with a second place trophy (all those rankings via Golfweek.com rankings, by the way)
Follow along as SPRING BREAK BRADEN MAKES HIS WAY AROUND THE COURSE WHAT’S SPANISH FOR HOTTY TODDY?
Lamkin San Diego Classic (Mar 12-13) — San Diego, Ca. Another absolutely miserable place to have to go play a couple rounds of golf for a few days. This one will be held at the San Diego Country Club where Billy Casper (BILLY FREAKING CASPER!) holds the course record of 62.