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College football 2018 Week 13 watch guide: EVERYTHING is on the table

CONSUME EVERYTHING.

NCAA Football: Arizona at Washington State
When the gravy’s gone.
James Snook-USA TODAY Sports

Oh, yes. This is the weekend in college football. This is rivalry week — ahem, sorry, this is hate week. Apple Cup. Iron Bowl. Egg Bowl. Fill your plate and lump those calories in, because we’ve got a fat slate for this week’s viewing guide.

Your options are myriad, only limited by your cable/satellite/streaming means. If you have a nearby bar with a lot of screens, head over there on any given day of this week to avoid your closest family. THIS IS RIVALRY WEEK, after all.

Our watchability metrics are blown out of the water this week, because any damn thing could happen any damn place between any two rivals. You do you; we’ll just mention a few fun options here. All betting lines are taken from OddsShark, SB Nation’s in-house sports-book.

So let’s get to it, shall we?

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 22

Colorado State at Air Force

2:30 p.m. CT on CBS and streaming online at CBS Sports Network

Air Force is favored by 15 at home on Thanksgiving afternoon, right when you’re stuffing as much food into your mouth as physically possible. Colorado’s a funny state, and these two don’t like to follow the rules. Look for CSU to COVER this three-score spread on the road and outshine your drunk relative who only bets straight-up.

No. 18 Mississippi State at Ole Miss

6:30 p.m. CT on ESPN and streaming online at WatchESPN

You knew this, but just make sure to remind family members that this thing is going on in the middle of dessert and bourbon. There needs to be a TV nearby, and you need to be able to check in on that TV with real regularity. At least until the late third quarter when State runs away with it.

Step outside after Q3 and enjoy your more chill relatives and in-laws. You’ll be better off for it, especially with regards your spouse and the in-laws.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 23

[THERE’S A LOT TO DIGEST HERE; LIKE WE SAID — WATCH WHAT YOU WANT.]

No. 14 Texas at Kansas

11 a.m. CT on FS1 and streaming online at FOXSportsGO

KANSAS GOT THEM LONGHORNS RECENTLY BEFORE AND BEVO CAN’T BE THERE IN LAWRENCE. LET’S DO THIS, JAYHAWKS. ROCK CHALK.

Texas is 15-point favorites, sure, but take Kansas to cover that horse shit at home. On a Friday night after T-giving?

No. 9 UCF at USF

3:15 p.m. CT on ESPN and streaming online at WatchESPN

GO KNIGHTS. DO THE THING.

No. 16 Washington at No. 8 Washington State

7:30 p.m. CT on FOX and streaming online at FOXSportsGO

Your travel and otherwise Thanksgiving week habits vary wildly, but please try to be near a television with this thing goes down, because it’s going to be great. Eat your leftovers, banter with your drunk cousin, behold Mike Leach at home because we’re in Pullman, and Pullman kicks ass. The Cougs will cover the spread, and we don’t care to look it up because they’ll win by three possessions at home. Make some money.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 24 (EARLY GAMES)

No. 4 Michigan at No. 10 Ohio State

11 a.m. CT on FOX and streaming online at FOXSportsGO

We have to watch this every year because it has bearing on the whole College Football Playoff somehow. Anyway, keep it somewhere in the background, because it’ll probably get a little weird late in the proceedings. Whatever, B1G.

No. 11 Florida at Florida State

11 a.m. CT on ABC and streaming online at WatchESPN

Two options here: 1) Dan Mullen earns maybe two or three years more street cred on his rebuild; 2) Willie Taggart earns maybe two or three years more street cred on his rebuild. Either way, Mullen has more to lose, given his national rank, but Taggart’s season has been abysmal. It’s in Tallahassee, and it’s going to be bulbous.

Take a look also at Purdue-Indiana, NC State-UNC, Wyoming-New Mexico, and ...

Auburn at No. 1 Alabama

2:30 p.m. CT on CBS and streaming online at CBS Sports Network

RS O O T B A L L.

Tennessee at Vanderbilt

3 p.m. CT on SEC Network and WatchESPN

Let’s achieve the lowest over/under in the conference this year.

SATURDAY NIGHT GAMES AND #PAC12AFTERDARK

We’re lumping this block together because every game is worth your time, all the way down the FCS menu. You’ve eaten everything this week. Sit down and enjoy a college football Saturday night.