Ole Miss piled up nearly half a mile of offense against ULM

Ole Miss walloped Louisiana Monroe to the tune of a 70-21 margin on Saturday, a welcome return to the team’s offensive dominance of the early season, albeit against very weak defensive competition. DaMarkus Lodge came out of nowhere and tallied 179 yards and a touchdown, which amounts to a 19.9 yards-per-catch rate. Seems pretty good.

To the scoring then. Ten touchdowns constitute a great number of touchdowns. Ten touchdowns also happen to be the exact number of touchdowns Ole Miss racked up against ULM, and that’s a lot of touchdowns.

With that information now digested, please consider yet another very large number from Saturday’s thrashing in Oxford: 826 yards. That’s how many yards Ole Miss hung on the Warhawks, and it is a school record.

As the premier Ole Miss mathematics blog on the web, we set out to describe just how far 826 yards is.

Let’s get this out of the way first: 826 yards (755 meters) measures just 54 yards shy of 880 yards (800 meters), which is the traditional distance of the half-mile run in track and field. 826 yards make up nearly half a mile. To get a sense of what that distance traversed feels like, please consider the following.

Eight-hundred and twenty-six yards is 53 yards further than the distance from the steps of the Lyceum to the porch of the Ford Performing Arts Center on Ole Miss’ campus, as the crow flies. Fifty-three yards, you should also know, is eight yards short of 61 yards, which is how far Matt Corral ran for his single rushing touchdown on the day. Speaking of feet, there are three feet in one yard, and Corral directly contributed to three touchdowns against ULM.

Ole Miss’ offense traveled slightly further than the span that separates the right field bleachers in Swayze from the front door of Carrier Hall on All-American Drive. William Faulkner currently resides 793 yards from Ajax Diner on the Oxford square, 32 yards fewer than the yardage gained by the Rebel offense on Saturday.

If you were to take one (1) Scottie Phillips, who scored three (3) touchdowns against ULM and comes in at 5’11, and if you were to lay him flat on the ground, you would need 418 other Scottie Phillipses laid end-to-end to cover the distance Ole Miss’ offense traveled on Saturday.

The Rebels traversed 15.1 Olympic-sized swimming pools against ULM.

We reached out to our Ole Miss physics prof friend to gain a clearer picture of just how far 826 yards is. He passed along some very pertinent information.

1. Sound travels across 826 yards in 2.2 seconds.
2. A velociraptor crosses 826 yards of distance in 22.2 seconds.
3. The battleships USS Alabama, Missouri, and New Jersey measure 826 yards end to end.

All quite striking facts about 826 yards of distance, not least this terrifying lesson about velociraptors’ velocity, FOLKS.

We could go on, but hopefully you get the point, and the point is: Phil Longo’s shop piled up nearly a half mile of offensive output on the way to 10 touchdowns in a single game. We know the opponent was ULM, but we don’t care at all.

SCHOOL RECORD, PAAAWWWLLL.