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BOOZE BLOG REBELLION: How to make a ‘bitter song,’ which no one’s ever heard of

“This is all fucking booze.”

Jim Lohmar-Red Cup Rebellion

Charleston received its worst blanket of snow this week since the Apocalypse. I fell flat on my damn ass a few days ago and probably cracked a rib. Cutty’s has been inundated with neighborhood people because folks can’t drive anywhere. We’ve had some hot toddys, but mostly PBR, whiskey, and Van Gogh. It’s been mostly great.

It’s Sunday night and the spring semester is about to start. It’s also cold as hell and our collective blood is too thin to stand this air, to quote Hunter S. Thompson. We need liquor, and bartender friend Teddy kindly obliged with a not too complex drink but sure to stretch your next trip to the liquor store. This is an eclectic concoction.

Since Teddy and I listen to Saves the Day together, he decided to name this poison “the bitter song.” You’ll see why:

One ounce Fernet
One ounce Campari
One ounce Rittenhouse rye whisky
Shake with ice; strain into rocks glass
Splash lime juice, splash simple syrup
Floater of Grand Marnier
Orange twist squeeze to finish

There’s a certain album or song or whatever that you attack to your high school days and Saves the Day reminds me of bad track meets and awkward teenhood. That this wholly liquor drink should attach to Saves the Day for some damn reason is beyond me, but it makes me feel 17 again.

The front end can easily turn one off — the Fernet does that to many — but the Rittenhouse on the back-ish end drops you back into place, carefully installed at home away from this hideous cold. It’s fucking 30 degrees in Charleston, y’all. Campari, I can do with or without, but here it works perfectly fine, if only because simple syrup and lime juice are here to save the day.

I, too, had to ask what a “floater” of Grand Marnier was, and it turns out that it’s an all-around pour on top to coat down our cocktail here to set the stage for our orange zest. The orange zest is imminently important, in fact, because the Fernet will overtake your head without something sweet and strong to power it back.

It’s cold. The weather sucks. Go buy five different bottles of liquor and have fun at home. At least Ole Miss basketball is still kinda fun.