Go buy some alligator shoes. Get another boat. It's time to make some scratch.
Last week's picks should have you sipping the finest of coffees this morning — not from a cubicle BUT FROM YOUR SECOND OR THIRD HOUSE ON THE GULF COAST.
Yes, it should be a house in a more exotic location, but ya boi OMTB went 3-1 last week.
Let's do better, and stack those c-notes higher than a patchouli stank hippie at Bonnaroo.
SCOREFEST MEANS CASHFEST
Oklahoma State vs South Alabama — O/U at 67
Ole Miss and USA scored a collective 74 last week, and OSU has just as explosive of an offense as the Rebels. Last week the Cowboys dropped 59 on Tulsa while allowing 24. The game is being played in Mobile, so the Jags will undoubtedly put a few scores on the board. You take the over, and then you go buy a jaguar with the fat winnings — not the car, mind, but a real, live, furry, rip your face off jaguar. CHASE DAT PAPER.
OVERREACTIONS MAKE YOU MONEY
South Carolina vs Mizzou — O/U at 73
Last week, Mizzou scored 1083 points, so now the lines are ridiculous on the Tigers. BUT YOU NEVER UNDERESTIMATE WILL MUSCHAMP’S DEFENSE. He'll have the 'Cocks confident after an upset win over NC State, and you'll be confident when you apply for that black AMEX after taking the under in this game.
MONEYLINE MAKE IT RAIN
Georgia +160 vs Notre Dame
Nick Chubb and Sony Michel run all over the Irish, who are — SHOCKER — overrated again for the 22nd year in a row. It's obviously going to be a tight game, but you go drop a G on this game and walk away with $1,600 easy breezy. Or go TMT on it and drop a mill and cash in for $600K. You do you.
SPREAD IT OUT AND STACK IT UP
Hawaii at UCLA -23
A long flight for the Warriors plus a swaggin' Josh Rosen equals a spread you just can't deny. UCLA has the offensive power to stack up 50 on Hawaii, and the Warriors couldn't break 40 against UMASS — you know, the team that didn't exist in FBS like 5 years ago? UCLA will be out to show the Texas A&M miraculous comeback wasn't some fluke and flex its collective muscle. THE BRUINS AND THE POINTS GETS YOU PAID.