Welcome back to the Postgame Digestion, the weekly football season feature of this website that very clunkily combines our brands as both the premier Ole Miss sports blog and Ole Miss food blog. Heavy-handed metaphors, ahoy!
This is usually going to be a Monday morning feature on Red Cup Rebellion dot com. Yesterday was Monday, and this piece was not up. That is because Monday was Labor Day and I spent it outside doing outside things. I highly recommend doing that and making a habit of it, because college football is way too stupid and frustrating to worry about more than, like, twice a week or so.
So, in the future and if I feel like it (and sometimes I won’t!), you’ll have this missive to start off your work week. Mondays are generally accepted as trash, so whatever I include herein will, I hope, seamlessly transition into your trash morning routine spent going to your trash job to earn trash money to buy trash things.
So, how is Ole Miss’ 20-point win over South Alabama sitting in our stomachs?
As explained to kick off last year’s round of indigestions:
In many dinner rituals, a sweet or savory treat - often a beverage or salty hors d’oeuvres - is offered to stimulate the appetite. Think of a champagne toast before a wedding rehearsal dinner to get the drift of this section. In a world wherein I have definite feelings while penning this piece, I’ll offer something refreshing or interesting to get you salivating for the meal to come.
So here’s your aperitif.
This “Nasty WideOuts/New World Order” mashup is extremely our shit. We’re a late-1990’s/early 2000’s wrestling blog now. Don’t @ us.
(More seriously, this is a good reminder that football is supposed to be fun. Look at DaMarkus Lodge having fun there! That’s great.)
“That Didn’t Sit Well”
Oh, great, the offensive line still isn’t blowing guys up off of the ball, the running backs still struggled to find space, the back seven on defense still did not tackle and finish plays well, and maybe I’m being blasphemous here but Shea Patterson wasn’t like super-duper accurate Saturday night (completions to receivers who can make catches notwithstanding, he looked iffy at times).
And that was against South Alabama. I know the old adage is that teams improve the most between weeks one and two, and that Ole Miss has the UT Fartin Farthawks or whatever to knock around this Saturday while working out some kinks, but there are still some issues with this team that I worry can’t be quickly corrected in time for a trip to Berkeley to play a Cal team that scored 35 on North Carolina in Chapel Hill this weekend.
And then there’s the whole “SEC West” thing going on after that. So, folks, I legitimately worry about this team’s bowl chances early in the season in a way I haven’t in awhile.
“Going Back for Seconds”
AJ Brown plays football for the Ole Miss Rebels. That’s great! He’s great. He’s very good at football. I reminded y’all of this during the game.
I've been thinking about it and I think AJ Brown is good at football and I think you're a huge dumb idiot if you don't agree.— Shep Rattlerson (@RedCupRebellion) September 3, 2017
Shea Patterson is also good, in case you were wondering. But, for all of his accolades and 5-star recruiting rankings, he isn’t Shep Rattlerson without these receivers, the most dominant of which is AJ Brown.
Need a refresher on what this even means?
This is the portion of this rundown where we ease your gut, by now stuffed with the confused culinary creation that Ole Miss football whips up on a weekly basis, with something lighthearted or trivial that wraps all of this whole situation up nicely. This fits neatly with the proper idea of a digestif, a drink that is served after a large meal to, in theory, aid with digestion and reduce any discomfort an overly rich and savory dining experience may offer. In the Anglosphere, this usually takes the form of a whiskey of some sort; you might know it as a “nightcap.”
So, remember how Mississippi State lost to South Alabama last year? Remember how funny that was to us?
Well that shit’s still funny. And it’s even funnier now that we didn’t succumb to the same fate! To the Bulldogs who are undoubtedly reading this right now (xoxo), remember that you could Nick Fitzgerald your way to a billion Egg Bowl wins, and we’re still going to find your South Alabama loss funny.
Sorry to offend.