And a happy birthday to Robert Nkemdiche as well! You intellectually gifted outside the box thinker, you. You existential know-it-all. Congrats on another year, you big hunk of a man, you. Contrary to your opinions on time, you are now 23-years young.
Time doesn't exist, clocks do.— Robert Nkemdiche (@TheLegendMerlin) May 11, 2015
Because you were able to make it for yet another year on this wonderful planet of ours, we are here to relive one of your better games as a Rebel. The time that No. 15 Ole Miss went into Tuscaloosa, a place absent of abstract thinkers and folks that actually read books, and defeated the No. 2 ranked Alabama Crimson Tide. You were never one to blow up a box score, but you made your presence felt in other ways, yeah you did.
Most remember this game for Chad Kelly’s outstanding play to complete a phenomenal pass to Quincy Adeboyejo after faking out the Tide defense by bouncing it off a defender’s helmet and into the hands of Q-Joe.
But, forget that, I remember you being an absolute menace for Alabama’s vaunted offensive line and giving Nick Saban nightmares for weeks on end.
Early in the game, Alabama tries to run Kenyan Drake off tackle and it never stood a chance. You split a double team, like you always do, and gobbled up the speedster before he could even get out of the proverbial blocks.
Not to be outdone, you show up in a big way later in the game when Alabama is trying to punch one in the end zone. Well, Lane Kiffin tried to get cute, per usual, and run Calvin Ridley on a jet sweep and you and those 28” arms were there waiting on him.
Oh, you got jokes about Big Rob struggling with double teams? Well, here he is completing a masterful juke at the point of attack. Not only does he beat the double team here, but he manipulates the guard in thinking he is coming with a bull rush, only to leave him in the dust with a pirouette and to leap into Jake Coker’s nightmares.
The fancy footwork wasn’t the only thing in your arsenal, though, oh no! Alabama was foolish enough to leave you matched up one-on-one AND run at you during this play.
What the hell were you thinking, Lane?! Our birthday boy completely makes a mockery of the offensive line position, tosses the left guard away like Plato’s “The Allegory of the Cave” after finishing it in one sitting, and proceeds to stuffs the Heisman Trophy winner and current Tennessee Titan, Derrick Henry, at the line of scrimmage for no gain. No big deal, right?
And sometimes repetition is a beautiful thing. So let’s watch Big Rob spin and annihilate someone again.
We all know how it ended. The Rebs held on to win a wild one, 43-37, and improved to 3-0 on the year before finishing the season in New Orleans and winning a Sugar Bowl. Happy birthday, Big Rob, and may the boundaries that forsake us never appear in your wake.