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Ole Miss vs. Cal: Off into the ether

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Jump.

NCAA Football: Utah at California John Hefti-USA TODAY Sports

We’ve written this thing before, but this game DEMANDS everyone’s absolute attention on Saturday night. And Sunday morning. It won’t end until, like, 1:30 a.m. ET on Sunday, and I’m sorry that I’ve asked one of my favorite writers to do a gamer at that hour. Good grief.

This game is already stupid college football. SEC Ole Miss at Pac-12 Cal. There will undoubtedly be a moment Saturday night that you scream the F-word at your television or computer or whatever, and that’s to be expected. We’ve written your field guide for how to handle yourself during these Ole Miss-Cal proceedings, which will be equally hilarious and crazy in measure. You want proof? Here, take a look at the tape.

What Ghost and I didn’t fully spell out in the field guide was that you, Ole Miss fan, you, college football fan generally, must leap off into the unknown as this thing starts. When this thing lights up, which it inevitably will. When this thing spins off into the ditch. Elevate yourself and your mind and your rooting interests for CHAOS NIGHT. We’ve done so already, and we are ready. ARE YOU READY?

The main thing to keep in mind is that this game signifies nothing, but also everything. Ole Miss isn’t going to a bowl game this year, because, well, they drove a little too fast down Highway 6. It happens. But also they could affect Cal’s bowl chances. They could throw a weird wrench into the Pac-12 generally that resonates out until November. That’d be hilarious. Go Rebs.

We’re here to advise of this: jump off the cliff and enjoy the hell out of this game, no matter what transpires. Remember: it doesn’t ultimately matter. No bowl game appearance will be won or lost here in Berkeley on Saturday. Rather, Ole Miss gets to meet crazy-ass Cal for some serious #Pac12AfterDark action that will resonate out for centuries. However many points are scored Saturday night/Sunday morning, it’s surely going to be more than 73. Most lines are giving Ole Miss a 3.5 point advantage, which is really a push. Sure.

Jump.

Jump off into the beautiful chaos that this game will deliver.

Jump off into the beautiful offense that this game will deliver.

Jump off into the disastrous defense that this game will deliver.

Jump off into the #Pac12AfterDark, because that’s some of the best internet on the internet.

Jump because this season doesn’t matter at all and yet they’re setting school records.

Jump because Shea Patterson and A.J. Brown are your roommates now.

Jump because this game will achieve peak college football CHAOS, and only college football writers will watch it.

This will be an event, and you should want to be there for it. We will.