AROUND THE SEC WEEK 3: Auburn, what are you doing, man?

We’re through two full weeks of the college football season, and already Auburn embarrassed themselves on the national stage. Clemson did too, of course, though in somewhat lesser fashion, insofar as the Upstate Tigers ripped off a 14-6 (?) win at home on the eve of one of the most destructive weather systems to invade the southeast in living memory.

Kamryn Pettway deserves better than this. This Auburn feature back is a front-end loader unto himself and he should be eating people alive, but he’s not. He should be a candidate for the Heisman, to be honest, but he’s not. He ran for 74 yards on Saturday, and granted Clemson owns one of the premier defenses in the country, but Pettway is a very good runner. All told, Auburn does not have offense right now. They don’t have coaches calling the right plays, they don’t have secondary players hitting their assignments, and they have a quarterback who barely belongs on your flag football team. Auburn’s offense is bad.

Mississippi State forced the best college football play of all time.

We at Red Cup Rebellion like to write about stupid funny college football things, and this is perhaps the stupidest most college football thing that’s ever happened. If you don’t like the fact that it’s on this website, you can easily go elsewhere. To, like, Bleacher/Report or whatever. Go get your scores and recaps; that’s fun. For those of you with a sense of humor, look at this incredible-ness:

LA Tech ended up punting from their own 28 yard line ON FOURTH AND GOAL, which, as this week’s Shutdown Fullcast pointed out, why? Why not just fucking go for that, dude? Like, you have the opportunity to execute not only the greatest blunder in the history of this sport but also the greatest save. SMH, LA Tech. We should have done better by you. You should have done better by us.

Georgia won.

The OTHER Bulldogs won by one point in South Bend, 20-19. Great for you guys. Both of you are far too overrated to take seriously right now. Same as Ole Miss, but the Rebs are playing with nothing to lose and anyway CHAOS TEAM DON’T CARE NO MORE. AIN’T GOT NOTHING TO LOSE WHEN YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOSE. COI HEARING, PAAAWWWLLL.

(This is our official announcement that Jim is safe and back in the saddle for Ole Miss sports news and content for Cal week. It’s going to be great. Go scream at him on Twitter.)

Bye.