The Ole Miss Rebels will not play in a bowl game after the 2017 season, due to a self-imposed postseason ban following a four-year NCAA proctology examination. After Ole Miss’ spring game on Saturday, however, Rebels athletics director Ross Bjork suggested that the football team would come up with it’s own damn bowl games.
Next season, each football game will be given a name and deemed a "bowl game," per #OleMiss' AD Ross Bjork— Brad Logan (@BradLoganCOTE) April 8, 2017
Bjork later walked this back, saying on Twitter that there was “nothing literal” about his statement and that he was “only referring to the approach our players will take with 12 opportunities.”
That being said, the opportunities for ridicule are manifold and sundry. Red Cup Rebellion’s editorial board understands this, and as a service to you, the Rebel faithful, we’re here to get out in front of any and all jokes that rival fan bases might make at the Ole Miss football team’s expense. We named all 12 bowl games this season, is what we’re saying.
Sept. 2 vs. South Alabama — The Don’t Lose To FCS Schools Bowl, presented by Mugshot Grill of Starkville, Miss.
Sept. 9 vs. UT-Martin — The Hashtag SEC Scheduling Quirks LOL Bowl, presented by Parker-McGill Dodge Jeep Ram of Starkville, Miss.
Sept. 16 at California — The Bears Bowl, presented by Deweese Gun-Pawn Trophy Shop of Starkville, Miss.
Sept. 30 at Alabama — The Quincy Adeboyejo Tip Six Memorial Bowl, presented by Egan’s Bar of Tuscaloosa, Ala.
Oct. 7 at Auburn — The Pine Box Bowl, paid for by Tuberville for Alabama 2018
Oct. 14 vs. Vanderbilt — The Dockers Challenge Bowl, presented by the Dockers Outlet Store of Nashville, Tenn.
Oct. 21 vs. LSU — The Public Intoxication Bowl, presented by the Hustler Club of New Orleans, La.
Oct. 28 vs. Arkansas — The Smoked Meats Bowl, presented by Dickey’s BBQ Pit of Fayetteville, Ark.
Nov. 4 at Kentucky — The Why? Bowl, presented by Nike.
Nov. 11 vs. Louisiana-Lafayette — The Egg Bowl, presented by Vital Farms Pasture-Raised Organic Eggs of Austin, Texas.
Nov. 18 vs. Texas A&M — Also The Egg Bowl, presented by Vital Farms Pasture-Raised Organic Eggs of Austin, Texas.
Nov. 23 at Mississippi State — The Snitchin' Bowl, presented by Mutually Assured Destruction.
We cordially invite your own submissions, either in the comments below or over on Twitter. NEVER STOP RUNNING, QUINCY.