BOOZE BLOG REBELLION: In support of Hamm’s, which is a passable beer

This blog isn’t so much about Hamm’s in its current state as it is about the history of Hamm’s and its marketing arm, which is amazing. Hamm’s tastes like literally nothing, is hardly passable as beer but for the fact that it contains alcohol, and still performs the same function as, say, Pabst Blue Ribbon, only worse.

Hamm’s taste like nothing, which is both good and bad. It’s brewed in Milwaukee, the breeding ground of American beer brewing, and yet it falls hard on its face as a memorable can. It’s just there, sitting in the ice bin for two dollars.

Hamm’s has apparently enjoyed a rather prolific advertising cycle since the middle 20th century, most notably when many of us were eating crayons and wondering why Goodfellas landed second place to Dancing With Wolves, which was good enough, sure, but frankly sucked when laid against Martin Scorsece’s not Big Epic about the American frontier. So it goes.

Anyway, do you like bears? Here’s a bear riding shotgun in a Hamm’s commercial. Enjoy a Hamm’s

I don’t even like Hamm’s and I want a Hamm’s now. Better still, look at this bullshit:

FROM THE LAND OF SKY BLUE WATERS. HAMM’S. MMMMMMMM.

There’s not much to recommend this swill. It sits considerably beneath PBR and even Budweiser. It has no bite and virtually no taste. It tastes like fizzy water.

The local here in Chuck requires that every time you order a Hamm’s you have to provide a Hamm’s marketing slogan. Here are some of our favorite efforts.

• “I’ve never hugged my dad. Hamm’s.”
• “Hamm’s. It’s beer-adjacent.”
• “Hamm’s. For when you successfully pass a kidney stone.”
• “Hamm’s. Stronger water.”
• “Hamm’s. The official beer of talking to your ex.”