Ole Miss vs. Auburn 2017 final score: Just a big pile of vomit, Rebs lose 44-23

After being massacred 66-3 last week against Alabama, we here at Red Cup Rebellion wrote that the Ole Miss football program had officially hit rock bottom. And yet, somehow, almost unimaginably, the Rebels looked worse against Auburn than they did against Bama.

From the first quarter, it was clear that the Rebels were outmatched, especially on defense. On their first offensive possession, Auburn bruised their way down the field on a 10-play drive that culminated in a 17-yard rushing touchdown. The next time they touched the ball, the Tigers dispensed with the need for a sustained drive and simply scored in one play. Rebel defenders dove helplessly at Auburn’s Ryan Davis as he took a screen pass out of the flat 75 yards for a touchdown. A pair of early second quarter Auburn touchdowns made the score 28-3 and essentially secured the outcome of the game.

The Rebels did manage a trio of second-half touchdowns (shoutout to DK Metcalf for the multi-touchdown game). But, in the end, the final score of 44-23 does not truly capture the ineptitude Ole Miss displayed against Auburn. This one was bad, y’all.

Ole Miss football is bad in every way

Usually, these game recap posts are intended to highlight a few key factors that were pivotal in determining the outcome of the contest. In the case of this game, however, the collective futility of the Ole Miss football team was so great that no one group could be singled out. What was worse? The Ole Miss offense that appears to be allergic to the end zone, or the “Landshark” defense that appears to have never learned how to tackle? Who can say? Heck, let’s not forget the special teams, where Gary Wunderlich missed yet another field goal and A.J. Moore was ejected for blatant targeting.

There may still be hope for the offense

We were all set to dedicate this entire gamer to the team’s complete and absolute futility, but the offense showed some signs of life in the second half that are worth noting. It is easy to forget that the Rebels still possess a bevy of big-bodied receivers that are skilled at making people miss and getting upfield. In the second-half, the Rebs made use of them, dinking-and-dunking their way down the field to break the Ole Miss touchdown drought. If Shea can distribute the ball to the wideouts, and if they can limit the drops, the Ole Miss aerial attack has the potential to at least keep the Rebels competitive.

Auburn looks pretty decent

Congrats. You’ll still lose to Alabama and Georgia.

There are better things to do on a Saturday than watching Ole Miss play football

It’s an 80 degree, partly cloudy Saturday here in Oxford. And yet I, along with thousands of other loyal/masochistic Rebel fans across the nation, am trapped inside, serving as a witness to the Rebs’ suffering. This is not right. In honor of that, here is a list of unequivocally better ways to spend your Saturday: going on a hike, catching up on housework, binge-watching your favorite TV show, watching highlights of the 2016 Sugar Bowl, debating gun control with casual acquaintances on Facebook. Alright, maybe not that last one.

In conclusion, we here at Red Cup can’t tell you why exactly Ole Miss football is demonstrably terrible. All we can say is that the Rebels are 0-1 since the beloved Rebel Bear was deposed as the official mascot in favor of the Landshark. Coincidence? Perhaps...