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KHAKI BOWL HATER’S GUIDE: Sames are opposite, and they hate each other

Go launder that blazer, bruh.

Georgia v Vanderbilt
When the hater’s guide drops.
Photo by Frederick Breedon/Getty Images

Ole Miss and Vanderbilt are basically the same sorts of schools. They’re both small-ish, southern, liberal arts institutions that pride themselves on producing real intellectual curiosity, and there’s virtue in that. Aristotle would be proud, while Plato would want to interrogate the administrations.

Ole Miss and Vanderbilt house wildly different football programs. Vanderbilt has no identity on offense, while their defense is actually quite good. Well, not good enough to stave off a 45-14 bloodbath at the hands of what seems like a pretty good Georgia club, but good enough to hold them to just 45 points. Ole Miss has already had 66 rung up on it this term, and that seems bad. It’s objectively bad.

But we’re not here to talk about that. You wanna know stats and matchups and minutiae of Shea Patterson’s possibilities against Vandy on Saturday, go read Bleacher Report or something. We’re RCR. We’re here for analysis, which Will and Gray deliver to you weekly, and we’re here for humor. Making fun of the world.

Making fun of a self-serious Vandy fan base that thankfully doesn’t take itself too seriously. Our buddies at Good Bull Hunting are fantastic in this regard, and we feel for Anchor of Gold. Y’all are great. You agreed to a blogger Q&A this week, and that’s always appreciated.

ANYWAY, writing a hater’s guide for Vanderbilt is much like writing a hater’s guide for Ole Miss, because the respective universities’ sameness permeates everything here. Students dress the same way. They applied to the same schools and got accepted to the other respective school. Like Romulus and Remus, Ole Miss and Vanderbilt have murdered each other, brothers though they were, for mastery over ancient Rome. Mississippi State showed up late to the party and decided to rob the treasury in 2014. Good job, y’all.

It’s hard to REALLY write a hater’s guide for Vanderbilt, because this, uh, “rivalry” is just so vanilla. There’s nothing at stake here. Maybe whoever wins will go to the Shreveport Waffle House Bowl or whatever it’s called. Ole Miss may not, because their bowl chances are in serious jeopardy this season. We did a post on that very sentence and lost like 100 Facebook followers.

Vanderbilt: you’re fine. We’re fine. RCR is fine with you, because we’re the same. Where’d you get that jacket, by the way, bro?