If you haven’t by now read Spencer Hall’s in memoriam for Les Miles, please stop what you’re doing and go read Spencer Hall’s in memoriam for Les Miles. All the necessary elements are present — the good and the bad — for a panegyric to Les: his two-stepping approach to clock management, his flirtation with trick plays at odd times, his personality counterpoise to the stolid Nick Saban. LSU did what they had to do in firing him, but by the end of Spencer’s lay one can’t help but feel a bit sorry for the guy.
While most everyone ponders who will replace Miles in Baton Rouge, a question with even stranger potential answers is ... what does Miles do now? It’s not impossible to squint and see him at, say, Minnesota in the future, but Les’ cultural import for the sport of college football may be better served on the media side of things. Spurrier’s too ornery to stay on camera for too long — which is why he wrote a very good, informative book — but Miles could really spice up College Gameday. Corso’s always come across a bit abrasive and buffoonish, whereas Les is weirdly funny and just as knowledgeable as any other option.
Other than taking Corso’s spot on Gameday, here are some other professions for Miles to consider in his post-coaching life:
- Fan boat operator/tour guide in Louisiana’s deep bayou
- Head grounds keeper at the new Braves stadium (“You mean I’m in charge of the grass, like I’m the grass’s coach?”)
- Cashier at Rouses Grocery Store and be forced to emphatically tell customers “HAVE A GREAT DAY”
- Seal-trainer at Seaworld, specifically teaching the seals how to clap
- Full-time actor, but he only plays football coaches and riverboat pilots
- Generic Swiss watchmaker
- United States women’s gymnastics coach
- Train conductor in pre-Mussolini era Italy
- Handing out grass samples at Whole Foods (nobody asked him to do this and he doesn’t actually work there)
- Speechwriter, for literally anybody running for office
Happy trails, you Looney-Tune-come-to-life.
Elsewhere around the SEC ...
After Auburn’s win over LSU Saturday night, a verified degenerate set one of the (new) trees at Toomer’s Corner ablaze. A suspect is in custody.
According to Charlie Potter, Alabama linebacker Reuben Foster suffered a black eye after laying that vicious hit on Chad Kelly two weeks ago. Here’s the hit:
Go back and read Steven Godfrey’s longish piece on being a cub beat writer for Ole Miss during the Ed Orgeron administration and the time Coach O wanted to fight him. It’s tremendous.
“We’re shooting ourselves in the foot.” Will Muschamp continues to coach football at the University of South Carolina.
After scraping the carcass of Arkansas quarterback Austin Allen off the turf at Jerryworld, the media actually ended up talking to him and he said “I’m fine.” How?
Florida hired Steve Stricklin as its new athletic director. That’s it. That’s the joke.
Vanderbilt needed overtime to get by Directional Kentucky Saturday, how’d your week go?