Around the SEC Week 2: Your team has the toughest 2017 SEC schedule of them all

Well, Tennessee put the beatdown on Virginia Tech in a race car stadium Saturday night and somehow all 156,990 of those in attendance came away with their lives still intact. It’s too bad the Hokies couldn’t sustain their first quarter momentum, because now we all have to keep putting up with VOLS COMIN’ takes for another week.

The big story on Tuesday, of course, was the schedule release for the 2017 SEC season, and boy is it ever a doozy. Ole Miss and LSU are gonna play in October next year, a somewhat surprising change of tradition from the annual November showdown.

As for your team? Oh, dear. That’s a grueling trip through the conference’s toughest opponents, AND THEY’RE ALL AWAY GAMES SOMEHOW? HOW IS IT EVEN FAIR THAT YOU HAVE TO PLAY BAMA TWICE? Whatever, just more ink on the old résumé. Your rival’s schedule, though? Well I’ll be damned, all of their conference opponents are home games against Kentucky and Vanderbilt. SOMEONE in the league office is up to something, and it’s time for ANSWERS.

Auburn and Mississippi State tried some trick plays with wildly differing results.

Arkansas State went down to Auburn on Saturday for a slap fight with Gus Malzahn, who may be coaching for his job this season. And if there’s one way to ensure your future employability as a coach at a premier program like Auburn, it’s deploying low success-rate plays like a fake field goal when up by two touchdowns.

That’s at least a brighter outcome than Mississippi State’s attempt at trickeration, which ended on a fourth-and-one fake punt failure to open proceedings in the third quarter against South Carolina. Dan Mullen’s guys would go on to score just three points in the second half Saturday, and eventually stave off a furious 14-point comeback attempt from Cocky for the 27-14 win.

Mark Stoops is having a pretty rough go of it at Kentucky.

Speaking of coaches on a seat that’s growing ever hotter, the Great Blue Hope of Lexington, Mark Stoops, is letting slip any and all support within the Wildcat fanbase and media echo chamber. Saturday’s embarrassing 45-7 loss to Florida (again) certainly doesn’t help matters, even more so considering that Kentucky hasn’t dismantled Florida since before many of us were born.

Elsewhere around the SEC ...

Team Speed Kills took an extended look at the best defensive performances in the conference so far. You’ll never guess who’s at the top of that list.

Arkansas and BERT beat TCU in wonderfully spectacular fashion, so hopefully he’s worked that overtime bug out of his system early this year.

BERT’s big win launched the Razorpigs into the AP Top 25, which now includes eight SEC teams.

Georgia went and nearly Georgia’d itself against FCS Nicholls State, and your boy Ronald Ollie got a nice shoutout in the process.

Will Muschamp STILL can’t decide on a quarterback at USC, a good and normal situation to find oneself in leading into Week 3.