It's finally here! That crazy time of the year when everyone at work is not working and instead hiding in the bathroom to tune into pointless 5 vs. 12-seed games on their phone; that insane time of the year when everyone is fighting for bragging rights against peers, friends and significant others over who can select the coolest mascot or the dopest school colors that go best with your J Crew chinos.
Yes, it is March Madness time. And the Ole Miss Rebels have put on their dancing shoes and joined in on the fun. They'll take on the Cougars of BYU on Tuesday in the play-in game to face Xavier in Jacksonville, Fla. It's not the easiest test for an Ole Miss team that fizzled down the stretch, but they're in nonetheless.
My bracket is sure to be an absolute disaster. Just like everyone else filling one out, I'm picking Kentucky to win it all in Indianapolis. Why you ask? Is it because I have #SECBASKETBALLFEVER after being in Bridgestone Arena with 15,000 Ashley Judd groupies? No. Is it because the Wildcats are 34-0 and it looks like John Calipari is playing a video game? Yes, pretty much.
Here's a look at my bracket (click to biggify):
As far as my non-Kentucky picks, here are some scolding hot dumpster fire takes on how I conjured them up.
- Maryland will breeze past Valparaiso because YOU KNOW WHY and WVU will be no match for Maryland because of Jake Layman's ability to really hit that whip.
- Notre Dame will cruise past Butler and handle a Kansas team that has been shaky this season. Remember this?
- One of my rather big upsets (maybe?) is Arkansas sliding past UNC into the Sweet Sixteen. The Hogs are talented and can run with just about anyone. Plus, I really enjoy seeing Roy Williams lose for some reason.
- March Madness 101: Do not pick against Tom "to the" Izzo in the first round. I see the Spartans from East Lansing making a run before being ousted by Louisville.
- Another upset is Davidson over Iowa. It's just easy to pick against Iowa. Kirk Ferentz coaches basketball, too, right?
- For some reason I have Louisville in the Elite Eight. Rick Pitino is a crafty man and Montrezl Harrell is terrifying.
- One team that just can't get over the proverbial March Madness hump is Gonzaga. They're so talented and can stretch you out with their length and shooting, but they'll run into Duke in the Elite Eight and meet their demise.
- Speaking of Duke, I really wanted to pick them to upset Kentucky and make Ashley Judd ugly cry on national television, but I just couldn't. Kentucky's just too good and too deep. Duke's very talented and well-coached, but they won't be able to match the Wildcats' athleticism from start to finish. Albeit, here are some Grayson Allen highlights to make you feel better.
- BONUS: The Washington Post was gracious enough to provide us with NCAA Tournament emojis for every team. Enjoy every bit of this.
Think my picks are dumb and awful and yours are way better? Join Red Cup Rebellion's bracket pool and prove it! Happy fill-out-a-bracket-and-get-incredible-angry-at-yourself-for-picking-that-team season!