There are myriad questions frequently surrounding any Ole Miss men's basketball season -- whence cometh the next completely inexplicable result? Is there a genie out there creating tiny shooters who are so streaky you cannot help but scream "Don't look Ethel!"? When Andy Kennedy goes to the tall persons' convention, are people disturbed by the height difference between he and Mrs. Kennedy? If he had gone by Andrew Kennedy, would he be president right now?
But, perhaps, the most important question about Ole Miss Basketball on the heels of a five-game win streak and tentative position off the bubble and probably in the Dance* is ...
What is that thing on Sebastian Saiz's arm?
That picture was posted on Twitter by @OleMissMBB after the Rebels' win at Auburn. I know a certain court-side fan attired in an orange pull-over who would not approve. Nevertheless, if you are not on Twitter, you probably think I used the "spray paint can" tool on MS Paint (or the bold line tool with the bendy trick) to draw this simple, yet puzzling design on Mr. Saiz. You would be incorrect. The photograph is not doctored in any way. So, what is that, exactly? I did some serious investing** and developed a few theories:
- A conspicuously well-placed eye lash on the lens of the camera.
- War paint. Ineffectual at intimidation when covered up by a jersey, you say? Obviously, you know nothing about war paint.
- A birth mark that stretched as he grew freakishly long arms.
- A boomerang to signify what we call "The Kennedy Cycle," and y'all all know what I'm talking about.
- The foundation for a more elaborate tattoo, which has yet to be completed pursuant to the totally understandable doctrine of "Dude, never mind; that looks great; and this whole process is painful."
- Probably some important family, cultural, or other symbol about which Saiz cares deeply and for which he will strangle anyone who pokes fun at it using his freakishly long arms.
This list is obviously incomplete, but we here at Red Cup Rebellion are too involved enjoying the ride from Charleston Southern to second-in-the-SEC to be busying ourselves with too many details. As long as the Rebels keep winning, he can tat a sea bass on his forehead for all I care. And isn't that the essence of sportsmanship, kids? Nothing matters but winning.
*Now I'm thinking about a bubble-themed prom. I'd probably call it "The Lighter Than Air Affair." Now, be serious in the comments -- how many of you read "bubble-themed prom" and initially thought it said "bubble-themed porn?' You can be honest, this is a safe place.
**No, I didn't.