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People's University Excited-Made Announcements for Growing of Grass Champion Ship

Mississippi State won a grass competition. You know Minister Stricklin's got some things to say about that.

For Release of Immediate Nature

People's University is proudanced to discussion new champion ship in growing of grass competition! For years many, People's University growing of grass squadron has enduranced strict regimentationing of train regiment. Difficulty! Work that is hard pays in dividend nature, contrarily. Success flowing like streams of great liquid upon glorious Starkingrad in days such as these.

Turf Managers of Sporting Relationed Association recognitioned Field of Scott as Finest Football Field of Year This Current for colleges and institutionals with natural, proletariat grown surfaces for playing of football sport. Panel of judges numbering 15 independent like scored entreatied fields based on ability to play, surface appearance to eyes such as own in my head just as yours reside in your own head, utilization of innovational solutions, effective using of resources of dirty capitalist currency and implementation of comprehensive agronomic program. People's University claims title of this nature and conditioning for second time in previous years numbering 12. Successing!

People's University is thrill-made to announcement this champion ship in wake of success-enduring season of football skill competition! With football squadron journeying to northland of Char-lott for game of competitioning against fellow agrarian institution State University of Carolina in North Rather Than Other Carolina in South,  indisputable has it been pronounced that People's University is finest of all in land. For not even lowly capitalist School of Northland has purchased successes such as those bestowed on noble bookfarmers and the fields of grass which is green in coloring that they rear from riches soil in world...soil of Starkingrad!

When asked question on topic such as this, Rear Admiral Dakota Prescottovich said only words immediately following comma which ends tagline this, "Is team effort to fertilize greatest grass in world at available opportunity any." Such humbleness and honesty appraisal of agrarian cooperationing!

Of grass and game taking place in bowl, Splendid Commissar Mullen, chin stridently jut-forthing at exceeding manly of angle, said, "People's University is finest in all of land. Never in wildest imaginings would humble man such as myself imagine leaving such a place. Starkingrad, with concrete barracks and barren fields, is most eye-pleasing of all locales. Could job other than this offer such grass as supple and fervent? Grass which has not in wildest imaginings injury-made a player of People's University football squadron? No! Comrades, hark to call of your Commissar! With glory on field and glory of field, positions other than Commissar of finest People's University is far, far from mind inside of my brain. Do not believe capitalist rumor-mongering. Rumors are tools of School of Northland! Rumors are vile worms which feast upon Champion Ship grass beneath our one foot and also other foot as well! Do not believe things which are reported with sources of multiple nature! Do not believe experts who say words which are factual in nature! Believe that your Glorious Commissar shall be in Starkingrad for a thousand years!"

Yes, comrades! Heed call to arms, for enemies are upon gates of metaphorical nature! With successing of our grass growing squadron, it is matter of time only before School of Northland capitalists offer lurid and disgust-making money offers to crew which maintenances ground of Field of Scott. Do not be moved by false words, bookfarmer! Hold fast to agrarian pride! Spirit of unity and pride in fertile soil and bleak desolation must fill all bosoms henceforth and immediate-like. Is not Starkingrad glorious? Is not Dooey's the Little finest trough basin in all of land? School of Northland false believances that finery and jewels and competent city management are enough to sway hearts of all True Bookfarmers, but is not so! Is not!

With one voice, we raise high our cell phones evening such as this in coordinated effort to spell word "GRASS." For truly, grass is People's University's most recognitioned achievement and legacy of lasting nature!

Minister Stricklin

People's University