- Alabama - If you guys could go ahead and lose this weekend, that would be greeeeeaaaat.
- Florida - This ranking is by technicality only, of course... because.... FAU.
- Ole Miss - Ole Miss is fantastic when they face quarterbacks who aren't very good. Luckily, the Rebels play in the SEC.
- Texas A&M - A&M is pretty good at finishing with underwhelming 8+ win seasons. It's as if when they're out of the conference championship hunt, everyone forgets they exist.
- Tennessee - Joshua Dobbs is doing his damndest to stay under the 2,000 passing yards mark, accumulating just 89 against Missouri. If he can stay under 16 against Vanderbilt, he will hit his regular season goal! Oh, players want to accumulate yardage? Well then what the hell is Joshua Dobbs doing?
- Arkansas - Damn you, Arkansas. Why did you have to go and do that?
- LSU - Maybe LSU really just isn't very good. It's pretty crazy to reach that realization in the second to last week of the season.
- Georgia - We reached that conclusion long ago for this Georgia team though. Surely Richt is gone this year, right?
- Auburn - DO IT. WIN. I HATE YOU, BUT WIN.
- Vanderbilt - Derek Mason's second season has to be very encouraging to Vanderbilt fans who were ready to throw in the (power) towel after his abysmal first try at the job.
- Kentucky - More like Kensucky.
- Missouri - More like Misery.
- South Carolina - More like Mouth Hairwhine-a
- Mississippi State - More like #FailState, amirite?
And State is No. 14 because it's HATE WEEK.