Les Miles, America's finest contemporary poet

I hate LSU as much as the next guy, but with all the rumblings from the bayou that Miles' tenure in Baton Rouge might be nearing its end, I wanted to celebrate the man we'll be beating in Oxford on Saturday. Because Les Miles is a poet, friends. He may not know it, and you might not think it, but there is no finer craftsman of post-game poetry than the Mad Hatter. Here, for your enjoyment, is his finest work. Go ahead and award Les the Pulitzer now.

Our Bodies Are a Little Worn

(a found poem, composed entirely of lines from Les Miles press conferences)

1. Outside Forces

We certainly understand

the whims of weather.

There is no temptation

to put in your seconds.

You see that box over there

with the 25 second clock?

I think there is a need.

I think there are choices

but it's a sad day

when you say goodbye.

The whims of weather

the whims of weather

the whims of weather

you just never can tell.

2. Withtreat

You see that box over there?

This particular time frame

has ended.

There is no temptation.

I certainly recognize

like for instance

the right practice plan.

But the decision of whether

you've won or not

has been decided.

You must withtreat.

3. Luck

All those of you that might

venture onto a ship and travel

to explore and find new lands,

this is your day.

Experience isn't something

that you can just will.

See if we can mark a day

on the calendar

that's a different day entirely.

Sometimes you mix

and you tinker.

I think that's smart

But I'm going to see

where they're at today,

see if we can mark a day

on the calendar.

You see that box over there

with the 25 second clock?

That's for you.

We've been very fortunate.

It's not a hammer

and nail relationship.

I felt differently

than the nail.

And how anybody could pick

the hammer and the nail

how anybody could pick

that box over there

how anybody could pick

that kind of arm

and size of hand.

Our bodies are a little worn

And we've, again, been fortunate.