clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Ole Misc.: Who Runs the Non-Football Cabal?

Frankly, you'd be surprised at how many BearLawyers frequent the Palmer-Salloum Tennis Center, and inquiring minds want to know just what are those Gillom sisters up to?

Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports

Ole Miss Athletics is coming off a pretty decent week. As Red Cup Rebellion exclusively reported earlier today, a secret Network of highly placed operatives worked Jason Bourne style to bring blue chip high school football players to Oxford for a successful recruiting weekend. There's another network involved in football recruiting, populated by highly unstable operatives who contact these football players using various social media platforms, and it's called "The National Sex Offender Registration Database." Hugh Freeze's approach appears to have been more effective.

But other exciting successes were realized over the last few days. Ole Miss athletes of both genders ran fast, jumped far and high, and threw various objects long distances at the Vanderbilt Invitational. Jarvis Summers scored the final four points in a one-point win for men's basketball over Florida. And the Rebels beat Florida and South Carolina to qualify for the National Indoor Championships in an obscure sport played by foreigners with bouncy yellow balls and paddles with strings. While the women's basketball team took two on the chin this week, they are 14-6 (4-3) overall and much closer "tournament team" than "dumpster fire" with Coach Matt Insell. Clearly, this level of general competence is cause for suspicion, leading one to wonder...

Who is running the "Vast Reb-Bear Conspiracy" in sports besides football?

Sure, we know that Robert Khayat is powerful enough to threaten the NCAA and that Hugh Freeze has a fleet of bought-and-paid-for Cadillac Escalades with custom neon paint jobs and untraceable titles stashed in a hangar at the Ole Miss Airport. Anybody off the street could tell you that. My question is, which Iberian industrialist paid off Sebastian "Sea-Bass" Saiz? Has Jim Barksdale provided the track and field team with bionic super-soldier equipment, or has he simply written software to manipulate electronic devices? Ross Bjork worked in Kentucky; what's his connection to Boyd Crowder? And, by the way, who is paying for this fancy new "Pavilion?"*

More Opportunities To See the Conspiracy At Work

(MEN'S BASKETBALL) versus Mississippi State (Tuesday) (8:00 CENTRAL) (SEC Network)

(WOMEN'S BASKETBALL) at LSU (Wednesday) (8:00 CENTRAL) (SEC Network)

(MEN'S BASKETBALL) at Missouri (Saturday) (3:00 CENTRAL) (FSN)

(WOMEN'S BASKETBALL) versus South Carolina (3:30 CENTRAL) (ESPNU)