Citizens of Oxford, Miss., Chad Kelly is reportedly among you. Having had his seven misdemeanors dropped in a plea deal in court last week, the quarterback arrived from New York on Sunday, according to OMRebelNation.com. It would seem, for all intents and purposes, that he'll be joining the Ole Miss football team.
But Swaggy C isn't out of the woods just yet -- we've heard no official word from the school or Hugh Freeze. Enemy of the Cup Hugh Kellenberger is reporting that in order to be accepted back into the good graces of his head coach, Kelly has "one unspecified requirement" to fill which could be completed as early as Monday.
So what could this mysterious, highly secretive task be? We came up with a few ideas.
- Jump naked into the Phi Mu Fountain.
- Write "I will not spray this place with an AK-47" on a chalkboard 100 times.
- Ding dong ditch Dan Jones.
- DD for Andy Kennedy.
- Last two rounds in a bare knuckle boxing match with Ross Bjork.
- Launder the O-line's jock straps.
- Complete Walker's Challenge.
- Hand out Library wristbands for a night.
- Let Freeze record the hook for the "Chad Kelly" remix.
- Sit in Big Bad Breakfast for three hours one morning ... without eating anything.
- Fix all the leaks in the roof of the Tad Pad.
- Sit through any Adam Sandler movie made after 2005.
- Walk through the Pike house alone.
- Get five numbers using the pickup line "Are those space pants you're wearing? Because your ass is out of this world."
Of course none of these are nearly as bad as the challenge he'll face once he wins the quarterback job: stand behind the Ole Miss offensive line during a football game.
UPDATE: There's a photo floating around Twitter showing Kelly at Simpson County Academy in Mendenhall, Miss. That trip could be the requirement, though it's not nearly as funny as our ideas.